Ahhh, life.

1. It is a hot summer day...
2. you are sitting under a kubo enjoying the breeze,
3. peeling a luscious ripe mango with your hands and biting into it, savoring the explosion of sweetness in your mouth... juice runs down your arms...
4. taking care not to drip on yourself or your clothes, you reach for your tall glass of coke filled with ice cubes and gulp in the refreshing drink so cold, it makes your tonsils constrict.
5. Later, you peel off your sarong and run to the cold sea (now this part is wishful thinking hahahaha) that wash away the mango juice and the heat of the sun and the white sand that clings to your feet.

:D

Email list

Following is a list that has been circulating on the email for the last 56 years :-P. It is old but worth emulating. Two gfs and I had this resolution all of 34 years ago to each make a list of the things we love? Or good things in life? Or something like that to my precise and accurate recollection :P. So following is a list to set off many other personal lists from you people (please add, copy, create your own lists for our living pleasure :-). Last forwarded to me by a gf in Australia. Current comments in itals.

Things that feel good.
1. Falling in love. (cannot relate hahaha)
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts. (or you develop stomach muscles or you cry and pee hihihihi)
3. A hot shower. (Mmmmmmm)
4. No lines at the supermarket (no lines at BPI when you're trying to encash an office check and have one million and 3 other things to do!!!)
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake. (or vanilla or strawberry!)
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15. The beach
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
19. Running through sprinklers. (i want :-( )
20. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
21. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
22. Laughing at an inside joke.
23. Friends.
24. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
25. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
26. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner). (YUMMY :D)
27. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
28. Playing with a new puppy.
29. Having someone play with your hair.
30. Sweet dreams.
31. Hot chocolate.
32. Road trips with friends.
33. Swinging on swings.
34. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
35. Making chocolate chip cookies.
36. Having your friends send you home-made cookies.
37. Holding hands with someone you care about.
38. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
39. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
40. Watching the sunrise.
41. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
42. Knowing that somebody misses you. (isn't this sadistic? hehehehe)
43. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
44. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

Surprise!

Unfortunately no Sister Hazel or Kevyn Lettau or even a decent ABBA song (!!!!!) hahahaha on the www.powerwebmusic.com archives yet :D

Things not to bring to the beach

1. matching shoes and bags (hahahahaha)
2. pumps
3. laptop (coz i still don't have one hahahaha)
4. boyfriend (might destroy the whole gf vibe)
5. bad mood (scary!!!!)
6. house-sitter, oh no need another house sitter!!!!!!
7. meteor garden dvds!!!
8. sukang iloko

Things to bring to the beach (HUGE smile right here)

OBJECT / EXPLANATION
1. peanut butter :-P (peanut butter on tinapay is always so tasty after a long salty swim. with some accidental sand, perfect!)
2. hoodie (for strange arctic temperature buses)
3. magazine
4. Bitch in the House
5. travel blog
6. bottle of wine, corkscrew
7. kitkat
8. travel scrabble :P
9. hehehehe

Lost in Translation

Everyone wants to be found.

i can relate with this movie :-). I like its silences, I like the way many things are unsaid. Sometimes there are too many words in the world. Or there's too much of a premium placed on people who can say the most words with the loudest voice. Like they have more rights to live or to be happy :-). There's hardly any value given to peace and quiet. You know it's the quiet ones you have to watch out for ;-) (whatever that means). There's just too many things that can't be explained or articulated. :-) Or rather there are many things that don't need to be or shouldn't even be articulated or explained. Still, these things are beautiful and real :-) (aside: don't you think even sadness is beautiful?)

(yet another aside: one of the best greeting cards i've ever come across is about sitting quietly on a swing with someone without having to say a word)

i like Bill Murray's face. I think he deserved the best actor nominations/ awards that he got by virtue of his face alone :-) (but I can't explain it nor do I want to nor should I even try to... watch the face yourself :-) ). I started out thinking I wasn't going to like his character -- just another dissipated man, soul-less in having pursued pleasure for so long. But he turned out to be so likeable :-) so endearing in his helplessness at the absurd situation he found himself in.

absurd situations :-) i can relate with always seeing the absurd in everything every day. and it's not even looking down your nose at things. it's just funny kind of funny that. and how nice funny funny is when someone else can see just how funny funny can be. :-)

i can also relate to the feeling of disconnection. i always used to feel like that after out of town work trips when i was younger. i used to feel so sad coming back from trips and it seemed like it didn't matter to anyone. i think that was one of the reasons i got addicted to calling up my ex (whose real name was trouble). i probably often fooled myself into thinking there was a connection to be made there (ahh but this is herstory, water under the bridge gone into the ocean). thinking about the movie after the movie, i thought to myself how it's been so long since i felt like that. there's so much love in my life right now and a lot of connections (thank you cellphones and the internet :-P) and i thank everyone who is part of the precious cycle of giving and receiving love (precious girlfriends, family, colleagues :-D, myself).

i can also relate to feeling home is when youre with a friend at a strange place (Capricorns will cling to the familiar). Also i can relate to how things can be intimate without being physical :) (in fact sometimes physicality can be the most impersonal and alienating thing in the world).

and i can relate to the thought of just how scary it must be to bring kids into the world and be entirely responsible (i mean who am i to deign to bring someone up, to teach him or her my view of the world and of life when i can never assure them that this is a way of doing things that works?).

and lastly i can relate to the goodbye scene. i think in my life i've had many goodbye scenes and many's the time when it was my gfs who saved me (there was the thought of meeting them and their love after goodbye that sustained me). i can certainly relate to not crying now, definitely later. i can relate to that hug :) i think at the end of that movie, i craved for that hug for them. i am glad for that hug, i think i have probably wished for such a hug many times.

i thought the girl was beautiful :)

i can relate to quiet but intense without anyone really knowing or needing to know. :-)

Iced Tea Love

I can't wait to go home and take a nap :-) and hang out in my bedroom. I need some iced tea looooovin' (hmmm, create your own definition, I just think it sounds so sweet and so perfect for summer, like lying on a hammock on a cool porch on a still sunshiny day). This is because I am not feeling so hot (cough) and I feel that long naps would work wonders! And also because after all this time, I still haven't learned the lesson of never sleeping right after crying (no I don't have a problem I promise, just cleaning out my tear ducts) because you wake up with eye luggage and fragile feelings.

I really also want to blog but I won't as I still have many things to do before going home. But up and coming are:

1. Why I like Lost in Translation :-)
2. My response to honeybun's blogs... rekindling desire in NYC... (awright!) ...and i totally dig that love in LOTR post.

Happy weekend my loves. It's the International Women's Day on Monday.

Capricorn postcript

Oh, my comments :-D. I haven't written any. I just quickly scanned thru the sister's problem and Joe's reply. Off the top of my head I thought then that the sister didn't have to limit herself to those two men. Alone seemed better :) or at least, some time alone. (As it also seems dangerous to say do away with the two men altogether, as they might really be important to her at this point hehehe, although I really am tempted to say that :-D).

As for Joe, although I agree that honesty in relationships is important (but more important is first off, being honest with yourself), I do think too that it was dangerous to say that it was just a matter of discerning among the two who was the one for her. Maybe problems like this signal -- don't rush, step back a minute and detach yourself from this mess. What is this complex situation telling you about yourself and what you need to learn :-)... But I don't think Joe is evil :-D. He just needs some goddess friends himself, that's what! Hehehehe.

Cancer Comments! (karate chop chop)

The gist is in the comments box but it's much funnier in it's full unedited glory, complete with Joe-d-Man is pakshit conclusion (hahahaha). Cancer gf, can I post your blog address?

Anyway, as we were all saying... maybe it's time for a common blog for an endless continuing conversation :D ...that we can submit to Dark Lord as our common resume for her counseling center... hehehe

Also, I really want to send Joe d Man our comments on his advice column. Hahahaha, I wonder what he will say. I'll do it soon, just after Women's Day.

Libra writing from NYC!

Still in the spirit of respect and empathy and knowing full well that we will never know completely what's it like to be in another person's shoes -- this is so true, honeybun.

So all I can say is that I might only ask her what she wants and let her take charge (as DarkLord would always say), what ever choices she may make, I'll be there for her in sisterhood, to celebrate with her if she finds she made a good decision, to lend a shoulder to cry on if she feels she should have done better and to drink with her for whatever reason she may have in mind. :)

A sister, on the other hand, may have to really put her finger into Mavie's cake (we can't help it, can we?) That's love, baby. he he he. So, I'd probably tell her, it was an idiotic thing to do...writing to JoeDMango. ha ah ha ha. And that she need not choose between the two. In fact, she should include herself in the choices. But you know naman, honeybun, sometimes kailangan masaktan para matuto.

Life and growing up are best enjoyed through experience, anyway. ;p

let's hear it from Aquarius!

1)mark and bryan remind me of 2 guys in my life! haha! are they saggi and cancer too?:-D

2)u already know what i did in that almost too similar situation. there was a time (1month?) when i wanted both (or more?)&didn't feel so guilty, but also came the time when i just wanted to be w/ 'one' (i gave in to the system!:-D) so i let go of the other.

3)im all for honesty in relationships, mr. joe d mangoshake, (though i was just honest w/ me & not to the 'dumped' guy) but it seems to me, the point is not that mavie has to choose, (she deserves somebody/somepeople better than any of the two). she has first to decide/realize what happiness and peace (and other big life words) mean to her & how she wants to be treated by the people in her life & how she wants to love them back.

4) It scares me when mr. joe says 'there is one person meant for you'... for it does not only pressure one to find that perfect partner,but also belittles all the other relationships one can form and have formed (and will form!).

5)there's no need to get torn when we are allowed to value (many) people for who they are,for who we are when we're with them, how they make us feel, for the little and big ways, (for the short time and/or lifetime) that they touch our lives...

6) so mavie, deadma na muna sa dalawa, you’re only 26, there’s so much to know about yourself. Hang out ka muna with us at join sa pag problematize ng exclusivity and free love and romance and celibacy and get to know and love people according to their sun signs :-D

A question for you women

Torn between two? Loving and loved by many? Is the glass half-full or half-empty? LOL. More theoretical adventures on one of Joanna's current fave topics (free love), from the Capricorn occasionally sitting on the lap of the green-eyed monster... Yes, gfs what say you about this sister's problem here --->
http://www.inq7.net/mag/2004/feb/29/text/mag_5-1-p.htm
(copy-paste to your browser)

Do we agree with the advice columnist?... A GUY?!?! :-D. ... Or maybe I can pose the question as, if you were the sister, what would you do? :-)

Still in the spirit of respect and empathy and knowing full well that we will never know completely what's it like to be in another person's shoes :-) (i keep busy trying to keep up with how it is to be in all my shoesssss :-P), I await your thoughts (yo you sluts, bitch and introvert you),

EULALA :-P :-D :-P

because explaining is a thing of beauty and a joy forever

hahahaha!

here's my official explanation to my aquarius gf as to why i keep listening to that sappy love-forsaken mushy and pathetic (super lait!) song Because of You (with versions popularized by Keith Martin, Kyla and Paolo Santos but individually and not altogether)

it's because i like that one line: If ever you wonder if you touch my soul, yes you do ;-)
and also that line (but i like it to a lesser degree) thank you for the love and the joy you bring ... in straight and to the point recognition of the joy that sometimes people bring to you even if they don't really mean to do it anyway (hahaha!). but not to say they're the only joy there is! oh puh-leeeze (hahaha as if i don't also contradict myself on this).

:-D it's 330 time to sit at table!

Pumps

it's all my fault for spending Sunday in pajamas, leafing leisurely thru a magazine and glancing at the ever-present tv. the magazine was full of pointy pumps in all colors and in all kinds of heels :-P

what cruel god made so many kinds of shoes for me to wear? i can't get pumps out of my mind noooow. i want them. i lust for pumps (lol, having passed thru my lust for slides, boots, strappies and thongs before this).

i am a very real example of how those damn glossies work!

Mooning over Milan

(in the top ten list of leigh cheri's things to do the minute she gets back in Manila. my apologies for this advance review but i can't help it :-D... pa-victim)

1. i love claudine barretto's character. she starts out as some kind of tight-ass bitch but soon reveals just how much she mothers everyone anyway :-D

i definitely like how they have captured the pinay's classic definition of loving (a product of socialization, Catholicism and probably all the laundry soap ads from when television first arrived in the Philippines) thru her character: i love you and will do everything in my powers (i kid you not) to make you happy. ... Needless to say at the end of it, it's ooops i forgot to love myself (wail).

2. i love the clothes of the claudine character :-D. Really, gorgeous (hehehe a product of socialization in the capitalist patriarchal universe -- consumerism and the illusion of identity thru fasion!)

3. i love that no one character in the entire movie is perfect. everyone has some growing up to do. (althought that way it was some kind of long movie what with waiting for everyone to grow up! hehe).

4. i love how they brought out and portrayed one of those Pinoy open secrets -- the extra relationships in strange lands, the illicit love that actually ensures OFW's very survival. What to do? All of this love is real.

5. And it was the first time i learned about climbing mountains with one's luggage, avoiding dogs and the police to sneak into Italy. Oh totally pakshit reality.

yes sweetie

yes joanna that's actually my emote of the months. i agree with you completely that life is short and fleeting :D ... and so i think love is great when it's there and must be danced with, sung to, dunked in water, and eaten for supper... hahahaha... but only if there's really love, one must not mistake it ;-) ... basta ah, life is short and love is freeeeee :-D ... if it's the one that you want anyway :-)

but i don't know about those life-long, 5 year and 6 months lists. they have the potential to send me into a panic wondering what do i really want and do i really want what i think i want :-D isn't it true that sometimes we just stumble upon the things that we really do want after all... or need to learn :-P ... and i'd like to leave some room for surprises :-D

but on the point that if you knew you'll die tomorrow, your priorities will become quite clear, there is no doubt :-D ...it might mean me getting very fat since it will become quite clear what i want to eat from that second forward hehe. just offhand, it could also mean getting highlights and swimming everyday (therefore ruining highlights) and writing everyone love letters and just hanging out, hanging about, hanging.... from a tree, skipping thru the clouds hahaha.

basta ah :D... am still currently intent on my wish and will to imbibe the good parts of gemini. must evolve, time is short :-)

my friend kevyn

whom i became friends with only AFTER she had a concert in Manila (how stupid of me :-D), croons on this freeeee thursday, "hold me till morning, soothe me in silence, promise the music won't fade, let me adore you, give you new reason to play, a serenade, heal me with your laughter, let the celebration never find an end, my heart is with you, forever lover and friend.

:-D COOL.

Now back to my transcription and translation of child laborers in Negros. Waaaaaah, heartbreaking real life.

You know when...

You know when you're in the middle of composing a text message for someone, and then you receive a message (beep), do you?
a. finish your message, send it and then read your newly arrived message?
b. exit compose message quickly and then read your message?

:-P :-D :-P :-D mind-curdling

Resistance is futile :-D

Today's favorite text greetings
the dark lord: It is a day for all our loves and not just our lovers. Happy Valentine's Day.
the amazing gemini: Some day we will able to love on our own terms :-) :-) Happy valentine's day!

Poems read at the dreaded poets society's Feb 13 open mic:


Cake

i wanted one life
you wanted another
we couldn't have our cake
so we ate eachother.

-roger mcgough


two cures for love

1. Don't see him. Don't phone or write a letter.
2. The easy way: get to know him better.

-Wendy Cope


The minute I heard my first love story

The minute I heard my first love story
I started looking for you not knowing
how blind that was.

Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.
They're in each other all along.

Rumi, translated by Coleman Barks with John Moyne

All from A Survival Kit for Modern Life, 101 Poems edited by Daisy Goodwin

In the grip of being a girl

Right. This is the cycle. I think of something that tickles my taste buds. I go and eat it. I feel full and sleepy. Then I think of new things to eat. It IS a vicious cycle and a violent world. Sometimes I think I can scarf down horse and barn. Or to be more specific and polite - Mars Bar, vanilla sundae, Argentina corned beef, rice, sawsawan ;-). It's totally disgusting when you realize that am still full from lunch. But I want to eaaaaat. Aha, tuna sashimi.

Day three. Prior to. Period.