;)

hi

been busy. you know those weeks in a year when life accelerates and you focus on each moment as it passes, you only have time to wave?

i finished my semester. whew. it helped that i didn't know the deadline had been moved for later. hahaha. i finished it the best that i could, while still relating to people around me, hehehe. what's the point of finishing a sem, if you end up not talking to loved ones near and nearer.

my sister arrived. being with her has reminded me of how good friends we really are. she makes me laugh, she's British and quite funny. and i tease her endlessly.

we all went to Boracay. it was fun. me being a weirdo Capricorn, going to Boracay is always a bit tricky because i always feel like i have to deserve it ('cause it costs too much money, and eating really well for three days takes its toll on my conscience. hahaha. coz it's so unrealistic! :P) but i just lab dozing on the beach in the morning when the sun still doesn't hurt.

then i went to Camp. it was good. that place in Caliraya is really nice (but really too cold when i was there. i got sick). it was fun teaching young men about sex. hahahaha. no, really. Filipinos are the most tortured souls about sex, and i love that i can help make better boyfriends for young women. hehe. or more sensitive open connecting nurturing persons. hehehe. also i talked to an ex-student from last summer, and it was good. he's a better boyfriend, he told me. and i think i did well :).

now sister and i are re-setting-up house, and will be getting ready for school. plus many things are coming up in the next two weeks too.

bless us all :)

no talking allowed :D

Ako ay nababaliw na sa ka-bisihan. Today, I marry Fiolo, and we are soulmates for the entire week.

Sheesh. Goodluck to me. I need two finish two papers today so I can move on to two exams and two more papers. OH SHIT.

Trusting in the prusis

Teeheehee. It’s 2 am and in the past hour I got the energy rush, no, the get-up-and-go that I had been waiting for the whole day. The whole day I had been needing to go and put away my stuff from the immediately preceding-now has to be shelved for three days- project in order to move on to the next one. But first I couldn’t get out of bed. When I did, I couldn’t get motivated at all. C’mon, it took me four hours from getting up to get to my cup of coffee (only after I read on yahoo how caffeine in cola puts women at risk for osteoporosis hehehe). I just couldn’t see myself working myself up again into the state I had been in in the past week for the next in a still long-list of projects. Unimaginable. How to get to there again from where I was.

So I took it slow. Let myself be. Even DD must have found it weird when she asked about plans for next week. It took me, VV the arranger, ages to answer, I didn’t know what to say and I couldn’t locate any energy into looking for answers or even saying what I needed to do next to find the answers. But she let me. And later, without any effort, I was reunited with my enthusiasm for our “sem-break” plans. It just came.

Soon it was dark again, as it does so much faster this time of the year. Still, I couldn’t. I only felt I needed a walk, and to get out of the house for a while. So in the light of streetlamps and brandishing my umbrella I walked to the grocery store, and bought myself a meal. Then ate to Grey’s Anatomy (woohoo) which I had been wanting to catch, introduced roommie to my Wednesday NCIS, and saw more tv while sleeping, hehehe, a particular talent of ours. Soon it was past midnight but my body still said lie down. I couldn’t see myself sleeping on the work I had to do though.

Finally at about one, I got up, went to my room, and in the span of 45 minutes put away everything, to my satisfaction, even. Hahahaha. And so the sun rises at one am. I am renewed, revived from screensaver mode, back from automatic hibernation.

the roommate conversations

it was a relaxing day, in a way. or rather, the kind of day where you will hold close the moments when it's possible to relax (kind of holding "relaxing" in a tight grip hahaha). roommie and i decided to walk to the restaurant where it's possible to get one of the best sisig. having gotten there, we sat down to enjoy our pla-pla and pakbet (hehe).

she told me of her friend who is depressed because she has no migo. and this friend lives in an environment where everyone is paired up. roommie told her depressed friend that maybe a migo still won't bring you happiness. and then proceeded to point out to the depressed all their friends who were married/paired, and presently unhappy specifically due to pairing. the depressed said she felt better (hehe).

so i went, "do you think we're single because we're so picky?"
she said, "yah."
and it appeared to both of us that we were not wanting so much the usual, as much as the fun. really, a good funny conversation.
but then, a fun conversation is not a relationship. it's just a conversation :D. hihi.

***

today we were chatting about thesis.

i went, "actually the thing to do is find the one thing that interests you the most. to make kalikot. you pray to find that one thing coz when you do, it's just a joy to do."
she said, "yes, mam."
added, "is it like a migo?"
errr, no. "if you find a migo that you want to make kalikot, goodluck to you."
"hahahahaha!"
"a migo is not kalikot."
;))


***

there was a man in the house in the last week (currently, gone to samar with the cutie wife) ;).

ahh, this must be a bit like how "men" feel. to come home to someone ;)). we all three/four women in the house last week went home to HH and had much fun around the dining table. there were tasting expeditions of cakes made/mixed in colorful piss pots(hehehe long story), and stories of how german men piss (as heard from the safety of a toilet cubicle), debates about masculinity and "hope for mankind," as well as ruminations on the Japanese term for "the big loser" (hehe).

can't wait to be piled on a sarong on sand, eating fruit, gone sailing, and laughing gaily at the ridiculousness of being serious. (goodluck to me, i hope i get to go ;))

go talk

Daily Extended Forecast for October 11, 2006
Provided by Astrology.com Daily Teen Forecast

Have you been giving someone the silent treatment? It won't do you much good ... you can't make your point unless you clearly communicate your feelings and needs. People cannot read your mind, so get in touch and clear the air. If you are the one receiving silent treatment from someone else, reach out and check in with them. Find out whether they are ready to talk. Approach things compassionately and with your defenses down.

hmmm. not giving anyone the silent treatment lately (err, just one, but it's clear to me that i will talk when the time comes :) ). but just thought, how many many many people in the world, heck, in my world could be helped in their relations if they could approach things compassionately, with their defenses down, and just talk. Go! :)

eager beaver :D

i'm so excited.

i met my targeted number of respondents after charming, cajoling, harassing, pleading, chasing the young men from all over the Philippines, with much help from the org peeps (HB for one, thanks HB!). it's a very small n, but still it took ages and lots of energy to complete!!!!

now i have the whole night to conjure up a research report... err initial report/ presentation. hihihi.

thanks to all the graduates of the CATW YMCs for sharing.

gathering

i must be the most kulit ate ever already, from all my email and text follow-ups to the young men, to respond to my survey sent thru the email. have been doing interviews thru chat, and yesterday, thru text. anything to get the task done.

i console myself with the thought that it's for a good cause- an interesting and worthwhile research endeavor (i would say that since it's my project, hehehe). my mantra of the moment would have to be: no, i am not a pest, i am not a pest, not a pest, not a pest. i am a feminist researcher, researcher, researcher, researcher.

if i believe that i am not a pest, but a worthwhile psych student researcher, then i will surely get the response i need.

so help me angels ;)) (and quickly! hehehe).

Milen-WHEW!