"real isn't how you are made, it's a thing that happens to you when a child loves you for a long long time. then you become real." -from the v. rabbit

girlfriend: "naiinis ako dahil ..."(even though this and that and this)... "i will always try to make him feel even just a little better :-( :-( :-("

vv: true, gf :). (i mean i completely understand what you're saying)


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One of my fears :P

From last night’s episode of ED:

Ed: But you slept with the mailman!
Liz: It wasn’t the mailman! It was a mailman! He just happened to be one.
…
Liz: And besides did you ever stop to consider why I slept with him? … (stands up to go, starts to leave)
Ed: (bolts up from his seat, and asks, impulsively) All right, why?
Liz: (stops and says quietly) Because I was lonely. For you.

I’m not sure I would sleep with the mailman (I’ve never seen the mailman, nor the bill delivery guys, particularly after the buzzer died hehehe) because I feel my fear of the permanent consequences would be greater than my loneliness. Even if in certain circumstances, maybe, the mailman would in fact be good for me.

But still, in the days when I project into the future (which you shouldn’t do when you’ve resolved to live by the power of now :P), I fear that in the rush of life and people and complications, intimacies that are fragile and strong at the same time, are taken for granted or swept aside or trampled upon. And my heart bleeds.

(Again, this is why one should live in the now, and appreciate what one has! Why go into despair over something that isn’t real? Hehehe!)

Just that that Ed-and-Liz situation is all too real. If you will remember the movie Milan, and the OFW couple-friend of Claudine who had respective spouses in the Philippines. Or Lost in Translation. I mean about loneliness. That you should also take care of those you love who love you, are they still ok? Are they lonely? Are you talking? Are you present and taking the time?

Maybe this is why I always understood my ... ;)