killing time in a warm place

haaay, wala akong magawa :) wala naman akong problema :) just lonely i guess. it takes more work to connect when you're mostly by yourself, and you've always been the picky personality for whom it takes the perfect mix of ingredients to create cozy happiness :).

can't go running to a friend for comfort coz anything could go wrong, and an encounter could set us off ricocheting in all directions, and we'd end up worse off. hihi. caution has become more than necessary, as it takes too much to gain equanimity. and it seems to be that, never when you're needy. although needy is normal, and needy is true. although what i've always needed, and what would have solved most of our troubles at any time from the beginning in the middle till the end and up to now, was just a hug. ahhh life, but that's how it is.

not finding comfort at home either these days, easily irritated by little things (this is probably what marriage can be like if not tended properly), and the mutual phase where it seems that we prefer being alone by ourselves than with most people, including each other. and because i'd rather be perfectly wanted, than have to prove my good company, i stay away. all this being perfectly peevish, of course. haha.

at the same time, i also respect other friends need to be, to just be, even when just being results to not being with me. hehehe. i miss, i do :) and it doesn't have to cost a peso either. just the pleasure of our company :)

and so i burrow deeper into the covers, and into the pages and pages, and thank the Goddess for school.

and the porn, man, i must get to it right away :P

yes, i am doing a review of literature on porn and its harm to women.