errrr, now i feel better :D hihi. it helps to list down (as in 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ...) all the intricate specifics of your sadness, and have someone simply listen, and understand. thanks gid joannie.

here's an excerpt from the latest version of my autobiography, the nth one i've had to write for grad school. hehe.

"I always wrote well.

I always got on the school paper. I remember one weekend, my family camped in my Dad's office doing my elementary school paper. It was called the Bud and Blossom. I was editor in chief. (It appears now that my parents were my staff, hehe).

I graduated honorable mention from grade school. I had two "best friends". One of them has been my housemate for ten years now .... (Wow, we're like, married!) ... The three of us best chums girls, picked three boys to be best friends with us. They agreed. It was strictly arrived at by contract.

Wait. Before all that, came my moment of glory as a beauty queen/ ms. universe (I feel every Filipino girl born to a middle class family grows up thinking she's the most beautiful girl in the world, destined to be ms. universe.)

When I moved schools in fourth grade (my family moved back to the city proper, from two towns away), every guy in class had a crush on me. One Saturday in school, they all hung around me at the playground while I was waiting for my parents to pick me up. I also kept getting calls from them at home but they didn't really talk to me. They pretended to be scary.

I had no idea what it was all about, really.

Years later, I would regret having been too introverted, shy, and out of it, to have made the most of my heyday with boys.

I would never have that much appeal to the opposite sex again, ever."