it's the thought i miss the most (in the MBTI, the third dimension asks how one decides, by thinking or by feeling? T or F). long after it no longer felt happy, the thought of it consumed me, like the irresistible book on the topmost shelf that i could not reach.

when i am lonely, i cannot help but reach for the thought. when i insist on disbelieving, daily life shows up the thought, an empty idea.

you were supposed to be the one for me.

* * * *

a nasty habit: like digging for pimples.
i am unable to forgive you for not living up to the idea.

there i go: taking the wrong tack again.
i need to forgive myself for having been so hurt.

i was very hurt.