"i just wanna live a normal life with you"

spent many minutes of my massage hour in tears last night. my dear juliet must have wondered about the persistent moisture as she kneaded my face in the half-dark. but you know how it is, once you're on track for contemplating the many sorrows of you and your loved ones, there's just no stopping. so i contemplated the many sorrows of me and my loved ones with much amusement, in the half-dark of the spa, last night.

so much has happened. life has been so full for me lately, and it's like walking your way in waist-deep seawater, you sway to the waves keeping your balance as you move on towards your destination. in the half-dark at the end of a day well spent. full yet again; wet, winded and walking.

thank you for the many Presences who hover around me, who walk with me on this part of this way, friendly spirits who, too, are making their way. all of Life is a-walking.

* * * *

just now i think about asking some of those people around me.
do you think we're friends? i like them, these people and i am curious
as to whether they think we're friends or not.
do they find comfort in my presence; do they
want too to be themselves with me?

friendship is sometimes a function of circumstance
where there is need, and a friendly spirit, there can be friendship;
where there are friendly spirits, and no need, sometimes there are
but brief moments of contact;

i wish to sit longer in the sun and in the shade with these Presences
without having to be distracted by some of the things we
are constantly having to do together.

* * * *

i sat across the room, and thought to myself, oo nga, crush kita
there's your charm, and your mystery, and there's the inescapable
thought that i want to be like you, you biggie super-galing psychotherapist you

but somehow there is triteness to these thoughts,
i can let them pass, but really, how lovely it would be to get to know you
i would much rather be friends with you
you-big, me-small, so-what.