(the weight of my failed expectations)

(if truth be told, my knickers are in a twist because you missed my big day, and i wish you hadn't because i would have liked to have marked it with you; same as it felt like you missed last week though technically, you didn't, but only because i reminded you of it. or that's how it seems even if i could be very very wrong.)

(a further aside to this aside: when i was in college, my boyfriend gave me a rose -- and if i have already written this story then i repeat myself -- and i wasn't pleased because he had gotten it from the frat's barrel of roses. i thought, it was just there and he got one and gave it to me. it was just there, and he gave me one, and this meant i wasn't special enough. ... hahahaha. cute :)

but about today. i wore a white tank and blue jeans, and an itty bitty strip of belt. it made me very happy.

am going out tonight :) but all i want to do is sit quietly in a corner, without speaking much, hug my gfs and my sister, and cry.

because sometimes, i just get so disappointed.