my astro dot com said this is the time period for me to know that i am really alone.

that relationships are fleeting, and that people come and go, and that essentially, I, am alone. that no one will really know how it feels to be me. just me.

strangely enough, this is true.

one gf and i used to keep each other company on late nights online. she said it to me repeatedly, "it's nice to know that there's another soul out there who's awake with you, when you're working in the wee hours." and so, we used to frolic a lot, and buzz each other, come two, or three, or four in the morning. then, yawning, we'd hie off to bed.

these days, however, she is especially busy which means that i become no longer company but distraction, and so she keeps herself away (maybe still typing away, sight unseen).

i do miss her though. i may be kulit, but i think she sees me more kulit than i really am, in her frazzled state. and i miss how we were present to each other. it's strange sometimes, how presence so present becomes absent.

but this is okay. merely, that i am alone tonight. and not feeling well.

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also, according to my ex's friend, she and he are both lonely.

but as my ex used to tell me, it was ok that he got sad. he said, i was not to worry about it.

i miss my ex. i miss the part of him that let me in.

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