:p

I am happy to report that the addiction is waning. (Though not fading away.)

pagbubuno ng pag-ibig (ang bongga)

in spur of the moment spontaneous radical chat therapy, gf and i come to insight ;). here's mine.

me: kasi it is something in us that responds to something in them. parang you are loving in your lover what you are (not) loving/ seeking in yourself... yon sabi ng mga libro
me: na kailangan ko pang pagmunimunihan para makarelate ako wahahahaha
gf: haha!
gf: ako din...

(after a short trip to the bathroom :p)
me: puwede guro ah
gf: ano?
me: for instance i was attracted to the "power"/ kagalingan ni X. "power" (power-poweran) ni Y. ka machohan ni Z (acknowledging my macho self) and strike-anywhere-kebs/dedma-to-all ni W.
me: hahahahaha
me: gusto ko pala talaga maging "lalaki"
gf: :D
me: hahahaha
gf: naku... mahaba ang listahan koooooooooooooo
me: pero baka natural yon (na ganun ang aking attractions), kasi suppressed yon in my feminine spirit
me: kaya daw may yin and yang chuva. na dapat pala in one person instead of 2 peas in a pod
me: tapos tapos, kaya ako attracted kay C kasi i could safely express my "male" self sa kanya
me: wahahaha. self-talk therapy.

boo

Mark and Rovilson lost in the The Amazing Race Asia 2. Ooooh, that hurt! They raced so well, worked really good together, were funny, had fun! (I know I know put like that they still won of course). BUT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN GREAT TO HAVE ENDED FIRST!

Sigh.

Good one, guys :).

ang laking tuwa ko

so great was my delight ...

at the character BAOGEN in the movie A Beautiful New World in the Spring Filmfest at Trinomz tonight. he brought to cinematic life all that i've been learning in the past few weeks and months, spiritually-speaking. paano ko ba ikukuwento ko? how do i tell you his story?

the movie begins with this country boy's (promdi) wide-eyed gaze from the city bus navigating the modern streets of Shanghai teeming with skyscrapers. he'd traveled from his little country village to the big city, to claim his winnings from a newspaper-sponsored raffle/contest (?). his prize: a 2-bedroom apartment in an urban tower with a magnificent view of the river. sobrang sikat na siya sa barangay nila dahil condo-owner na si Baogen.

from the bus, he makes his way to an urban housing tenement, up rickety stairs to the door of an apartment that he finds crowded with people knocking furiously on the closed door. creditors, all come to claim what has been owed them for a long time. Baogen, he's looking for his granny at this address but finds instead the daughter, his aunty, a mataray-looking whip-thin streetsmart woman named Jinfang.

to make the long entertaining story short, Baogen's promised apartment was still very literally up in the air, as the building would actually be ready in a year and a half's time yet (the piece of information conveniently left unannounced by the contest sponsor). in a quandary, the good-hearted inosenteng Baogen struck up a rental agreement and a sort-of friendship with his crazy aunty Jinfang, a young woman clearly torn between her lifelong training in survival and her naturally warm outgoing nature. in other words, he contended with her sporadic bursts of friendship and generosity, coupled with her temper, and her suspiciousness. in the weeks and months to come he would also stand witness to the rise and fall of his aunty's ambitions and attempts to attain a life of leisure and comfort in the company of a doting wealthy boyfriend.

in the meantime, Baogen also searched for a job. he worked unsuccessfully in construction, and as a security guard. at his wits' end one night, beaten up and fired from the club where as the sikyo he smilingly and wholeheartedly welcomed guests, he wailed to a musician working the underpass, "i loved my job (being a security guard) with all my heart." hearing his story, about the apartment and his travails, the musician berated him, "you only need to wait a year and a half. think of all the people who have nothing to hope for." Baogen then stalks off.

then Jinfang facipulates Baogen into into giving her all the rest of his money to "invest" in the stockmarket. he waits for her outside the stock market building where he buys two lunches for them, and fails to realize that the vendor who asked him to stand and wait while he the vendor looked for change had run off with his large bill. the infuriated Jinfang then makes Baogen lug home all the rest of the lunch boxes that the vendor had abandoned.

however, bad things simply slide off Baogen's back. the lunchbox incident gets him thinking about the cost of vegetables and pork and rice, and makes him realize that a vendor can make a good living from lunchboxes. Jinfang disapproves entirely, declaring loudly and repeatedly (in Chinese), so jologs, ha! as a result, Baogen starts and builds his business behind her back. and build it he does! hungry citizens queue up at his stall (perhaps because he cooks with love) and soon, he pays off all Jinfang's debts to her and the creditor's amazement. (even though she lost all his money in the stock market.) by this time, she has learned to leave him to his business as it has become obvious he does so well, and that he cares for her as well.

biking with his wares one day, Baogen catches sight of the musician in the underpass, now working a street. He runs up to him, finds out his name, and drags him home to feed him, and give him a gift. He tells bornot Aunty Jinfang, that Aliang, the man who told him off, was in fact his only friend in Shanghai, and to go and get them both a glass of juice.

in the movie's last scene, as aunt and nephew are riding home from a wedding, Jinfang laughingly asks Baogen, what else does she not know about him? Baogen orders the cab to stop and drags the well-dressed Jinfang out into pouring rain and onto a pile of construction materials. he tells her, when this building is built, he will have an apartment on the 37th floor. she laughs, unbelieving. he laughs too and holds his hand to the sky, saying, "God will stop the rain because he knows I speak the truth."

and of course, in the next minute, the rain stops completely, leaving them soaked and amazed on top of cement blocks.

i looooooove it! :D

i love this movie because:

1. the rain stopped. of course it would :D. Baogen is so integrated in his spirit, his mind, his person and his body, that he is one with his God. He is God. So when he says, the rain will stop as proof that he was speaking the truth, it stopped! There were no barriers, no dissonance, his energies were one: he lived as his pure heart told him to. He was love. His chakras were clear. He was the sky, the rain. :D

2. there was no judgment of Jinfang in all her flawed humanity. there was compassion and caring for Jinfang, an understanding of where she was coming from, and the recognition that she too deserved love.

3. the naive and innocent Baogen, so much the "city idiot", always "knew" anyway. he always knew the most important things because he was always clear and consistent, and always lived from his heart. he knew for instance, that Jinfang was no bad banana. he knew too that he shouldn't get the cash equivalent for his apartment that the developer was trying to get him to accept. he also knew that the musician who spoke the truth to him was truly his friend.

4. he didn't get trumped by his troubles. he treated being swindled of the rest of his lunch money as a clue from the universe. he went into that business instead.

5. the idea that one can work any work with one's whole heart, and always come out the winner. Baogen gave all his jobs his all, and it worked out well for him in the end.

p.s. it's showing again tomorrow at 615 pm at trinomz. hehe.