Can I?

I wonder, can I write? I thought of this out of the blue, and asked DD if she thought I could write something worth reading, and write it well. She asked if I had any more silly questions, VV :D.

But seriously. :D

I can put words together, that I have always known from childhood. I could always pass all of my schoolpaper exams, and I loved to read and knew many words.

I took up Journalism in college, not out of an overwhelming desire to be a journalist, but it seemed like, from a long list of the unknown, it was something that I knew I could at least do. I really didn't learn too much in my major college courses, as friends and I from the same college would joke. They didn't either. I guess writing or journalism anyway, is not something that you really really need to study for years to be able to do, and do well. It can help, but it's also really up to you.

I liked college for the perspective it gave me on many things, and not for the journalism courses I needed to pass.

In fact, I often thought, I can put words together, but what shall I write about? My content became my overriding concern, and it amused me once when I hazarded to take the university paper exam, and I knew absolutely next to nothing about the issues they asked applicants to write about. Not surprisingly, I didn't pass.

So I thought leave the writing to those who know a lot, who know more than I do. I will set about trying to know more.

But in fact, I started to earn my living writing. Writing feature stories for a Sunday magazine. It started out ok, but I grew bored with charities and the like. Or perhaps I did not really have the patience to apply myself and improve my craft, without falling asleep in the process.

Then too I fell in love with women and development, and left the magazine. Then I got into my next job which was not primarily writing, but involved that too. My boss could always count on me to write my part in the stories, err reports and proposals, we were weaving together.

Still and all, there were others who could write so much better than I could. A dear older friend would take my draft and fly away with it, till it became a beautiful piece of work no one could argue with. Her words can take your breath away. We have always urged her to write her novels.

Plus the fact that I can't write in Filipino. It frustrated me that I can't write in Filipino when there is so much that can be done if only one could.

Then I came upon this blog. You can say this blog has saved me from myself. :D I can write at will about anything in the world, and sometimes be read, and sometimes not, and it's just about me and my little world. I can be utterly careless with my grammar, whether I capitalize or not. As I said, a way to soothe myself.

There are days that are so much easier for my blogging. On days like this I would blog before I would work, because it seems like I can't work unless I get some stuff out of my system.

But then again, this isn't really writing. I wonder still if I can. And I will never know I guess unless I do.