world peace

CONFLICT RESOLUTION
The most important marital interaction pattern considered by researchers in the past decade is the demand/withdraw pattern (Bradbury, Fincham, & Beach, 2000). Typically the wife demands change and emotional closeness and the husband avoids or disengages from this process. The husband’s level of withdrawal is positively related to the wife’s level of demand (Heavey, Christensen, & Malamuth, 1995; Klinetob & Smith, 1996). This pattern is negatively related to marital satisfaction at early, middle, and later stages of relationships (Belsky & Kelly, 1994; Carstensen, Gottman, & Levenson, 1995; Cohan & Bradbury, 1997; Gottman, Coan, Carrere, & Swanson, 1998), which eventually leads to failed marriages (Gottman, 1991; Pasch & Bradbury, 1998). In contrast, the attempt to resolve conflicts, including the seemingly negative argument between partners, contributes greatly to marital satisfaction (Gottman, 1994, 1991; Roberts, 2000). Partners display mutual positive engagement by doing the following: disclosing their feelings and positions; compromising and negotiating by seeking areas of agreement; integrating the other’s opinions; and expressing their caring and empathy during conflict resolution (see Christensen & Pasch, 1993, for a review). These behaviors promote mutual understanding, enable partners to develop and deepen their relationships, help maintain feelings toward partners, encourage couples to weigh and select a positive manner to convey messages, and encourage the other to remain engaged during conflict resolution (Fowers, 1998).

from The Association Between Adult Attachment Styles and Conflict Resolution in Romantic Relationships by Lin Shi in The American Journal of Family Therapy, 2003