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THANK YOU. :)

The thing that makes me crayo today (hahahaha, crayo na naman ;))) is the same thing as last Christmas, and it's the wonderful way in which the universe always comes to my rescue. It always heeds my heart's cry and responds in ways that defy rhyme or logical reason.

Yesterday, I really was sadder than sad, starting my birthday in tears, and so on in spurts throughout the day. But still in the midst of grief, I was surrounded by loving and helpful friends, affirming my desire to sit and spend time with intimates, because they are the ones who matter and who have cared, and birthdays are also a good time to sit together, and break bread, mugto man ang mata o hindi.

Then too, though far away, love from family surrounded me. And actually from every perspective I take, I am chock-full of blessings and angels who are there for me, whether I expected or asked for them or not. Sobrang dami lang talaga.

Still, almost amusing because I could not help it at all, I was in so much grief, when you just want to cry and cry, and just have someone cooperate and sit there with you, and let you cry and not protest, and tell you, that everything will be ok somehow, someday.

And then in cinematic manner (lol!), the universe responded to my grief, and I say thank you. It helped a lot, thank you. It strengthens my resolve to stay open to what will be in store for me this year, contrary though they may be to my mind's fixations. I want to be open and trusting and willing to be directed where I need to be though I may not have thought of these at all. I do not want to be fixated, but want to be open. I want to be able to let be, let go, let flow, including receiving those blessings that come unexpectedly. I want to have faith.

I pray for the same things for people I love who too are in sad times, for them to be sad as they feel, but remain in the faith that things can only and always get better.

The serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.