yuck, kadramahan :P

everyone who's ever truly loved knows how tricky it is seeing an ex in the middle of everything. how tricky it is and yet how essential. how the bittersweetness can drown you caught as you are between the sight of future peace, and the longing for happier times past, made more sweet by the recognition that those won't happen again ever. how you understand everything, and know exactly where you are, and yet can't help tears streaking down your face.

how you almost can't say a thing because you can't hold yourself to anything, not any word, and besides don't want to cause any hurt or harm or pain either in an unwieldy time and place where everything is both happier and more sorrowful. you almost can't say anything because things are moving too fast and the words, once let out, might not be true anymore. and yet you are compelled to speak to commemorate each moment. and yet you are scared to speak for you might be speaking too soon of a future that has yet to fully reveal itself.

luckily, there are many other things to talk about, and love always knows even of things unspoken. and sometimes it knows more of those.

i say it's all about respecting the seasons. there you go. you've fully converted me months after i protested your insight left and right. :D :P why did i somehow expect that to happen? hehehe!

also, i hold in my heart my glimpse of joy, in the hope that in the rightness and ripeness of time, when i am ready, it shall fully open for me again.