getting real

the other day i told my counselee that, you know, LIFE SUCKS.

we grinned. there, we both felt much better.

* * *

the other night, we were drinking at Banca (hehe, rather, i was eating at Banca) and there was this emcee who simply had to insert all manner of sexual talk in all his spiels. if the conversation even for one second veered away from the various organs and arrangements, he would steer it back quickly using many many, much too many, words.

then this girl with curly hair stood beside him, and humorously, parried all his jibes, line for line. and sang wonderfully. and looked so non-sexual. and was funny.

oh, i tell you, she was wonderful. go maya! we love you! :D we may not know you but we're rooting for you. hehe.

* * *

you want a strong friendship, says my horoscope.

i finally arrived at this thought late last night. that this was my grief. that i long for male friends. i remembered carebear, and being in the playground with him (haha) and i almost cried. he's the one i can text at 2 am with my truest thought, and it would be funny, and safe, and non-threatening, and mean nothing more (yes, nothing more, or nothing less) than being perfectly wonderfully friends with someone who knows you and cares about you, and finds you funny, and worth it.

and that i have the right to grieve.

i want my male friends! hehe.