house and home

today i did my laundry, cooked pork binagoongan, and then went to the grocery (the mad mad mad grocery store, i might add) with our child.

i did my laundry to get it off the floor so i can replace it with my papers. hehe. oh, sweep it in between.

i think i cook a mean pork binagoongan, but it's really according to my taste. it's spicy sour and salty. what my friends call, "oh-it's-binagoongan-pork-adobo-but-it's-really-good-especially-the-burnt-version!"

then we went to the grocery store after making a couple of stops at two booksale outlets. it was mad! carts-a-crazy with no traffic lights nor proper right-of-ways between lanes. everyone's bent on getting food for New Year's Eve celebrations. i betcha del monte spaghetti sauce makes a killing over the holidays and everything else during the year is just bonus. ha! i bought mine two weeks ago. hehe.

yes, the child :). when i think about our new kasama sa bahay S, i realize how that thief A just wasn't meant to be. S is so easy to be with, so willing to learn, so easy to help. not perfect at all, but so easy! as a result, roommie and i take her with us to many places, and are helping plan her future, like good parents. hahaha. blessing, baga. hayan, the good things that come with letting go. hehe.

tapos, this last half of the year, i've become such a homemaker, haha. i cook stuff, manage a household, do groceries, eat at home to save money, blah blah blah. i even like feeding people.

such a woman, really :P

7 nights, 8 days

here, i am again, i'm back. time for another round of crazy Christmas confessions. i went three-four places in the last eight days, and that certainly makes for a host of experiences. not to mention that i also interacted with most of my significant others based south of Manila.

but here's my dilemma. how do i tell you my stories without coming off like am complaining or whinging or rationalizing. even this next sentence is loaded: sometimes i go through all my friends and family in my head, looking for a person who will simply hear me :). bear with me, i can only live my life one day at a time. i may try to or want to, but it's quite impossible to live my life in accord with the hopes and expectations of people who care about me :). so i can't promise that i will be happy, or that i will be wise, or that i will be nice, or that i will be worthy.

i can only live my life :) ... and as we know, each day is actually a spiritual adventure. and i probably failed half the tests that came my way :) ... wait, am being too generous with myself. maybe i failed all my tests :D. hehe.

there's the test of giving till it hurts :D. i love being generous but am never generous all of the time. i'm not quite generous when i know i might just run out of money already when i land back here and will need cash to pay for the cab home and the house-sitter, plus all the bank holidays endemic to the season making things more complicated. so what happens when we know the need of others is urgent, and yet you don't have quite a lot? plus all the righteous thoughts that come with giving. do they deserve the help that i will give? does helping have to go hand in hand with the issue of being deserving? darn, darn, darn. and then some things (self-serving ones) will always be easier to spend for than others. and so i always ask myself, what makes me think i should be better off than others? am i worthy? (answer: no, not at all, it's just a game of chance).

then, there's the issue of appearances. oh my, people are always hung up on appearances, and family reunions always make my fluffy body prime target. i feel beautiful living alone, but mix me in with relatives i hardly see all year, and there i am hanging back, waiting for the next blow. it's not quite the way to live. even after many years, i still can't quite (read: i can't) pull off the smooth and genius retort that'll pull the rug from under my 'detractors': still haven't found the one wise, understanding and compassionate response that will cure them of commenting on my looks forever and ever, amen. i blame myself: i obviously need to take more responsibility for my health and my emotional wellbeing.

this is so much my issue, that just when i had escaped my cousin and uncle who tailed me with their so-fat-tsk-tsk comments, and had already alienated my auntie once removed by rudely moving chairs when she raised her voice questioning me sternly on why it appeared that i wanted to follow her footsteps of never-marrying, life slapped me with a big one. i was strolling towards the boat, ready to sail by myself, when the security guard asked me if i was pregnant. i said no, wondering why he would ask when in my heart of hearts i feel thin (hahaha, delusional). i climbed the stairs, smiling but he had the nerve to call up to the stewards to ask me to go down again. face-to-face, he asked me again if i was pregnant. (damn, no sex for me, unfortunately). i said no. he said that i must wait for the doctor who would confirm this for him, and proceeded to explain how in a previous voyage, a woman who had given birth had cost the shipping company 200K, baby. F**K, major humiliation after surviving the family ordeal. all sense and reason left me, and i proceeded to curse out said security guard for his rudeness, for his nerve, for asking and not taking my answer into account, for humiliating me, for his stupidity, etc, etc. i didn't care, i was soooo mad, i swore blindly for a long time, and he didn't hesitate to swear right back at me. my rational self knew all the time of course that his greatest sin was merely that of being stupid, stupid enough not to know/ make the right judgment call about when a woman is at risk of giving birth or not, on his stupid boat. damn, i may be fat in the wrong places but sure i don't look 7-9 months pregnant. of course by this time i cried. when the doctor arrived, he chastised me for being so angry on Christmas Day, and i said i wasn't there to argue with him. one press of my tummy and he let me go (as if he could be really sure with that, too), and with one last set of curses aimed at the guard, i stalked up the stairs and cried in my cabin for an hour.

why do i write this here? i want to cure myself of my humiliation :). i do not want to keep secret, secrets such as this. i want to know the law about pregnant women and public transportation. do buses and airplanes and boats have the right to turn away pregnant women at certain points in their pregnancy? but most of all, i want to discern the lesson behind the incident. it has in no way escaped my attention that my private issue was made so glaringly public and so much bigger. it was like a streamer saying: VV, learn something from this. to be sure, i still don't know what the lesson is. am sure, it was not about cursing and quarreling like a crazed person. so there, i didn't do so well.

then there's the matter of love. somewhere along these years, i have slowly (slowly and quite painstakingly) taken responsibility for my emotional wellbeing when it comes to my lovelife. i have come to realize, and to act on the fact that some (many) things you can't expect on demand (and lots of pouting). some things you have to create and build yourself. you have to enable/ create the lovelife that you want, you have to make yourself and your needs and wants understood, even as you are also understanding and loving the other. and that there's no such thing as a perfect partner/ relationship, some things are as good as they are ever going to get. my problem is this: in which direction am i deluded? am i being down on something that's workable, and is being worked out in the long long loooong run; or am i consigning myself to not-quite-happiness. to be sure, things are better by me, i am no longer wildly expecting but am quite more accepting, but is that really better? you know how it is when you are no longer struggling as hard against something you can't control, it becomes less difficult. but what happens next? do you find peace or death? i don't know. is my idea of what am looking for, really still out there, or is it just another case of thinking my happiness lies in somebody outside my self?

thank the Mother, I have my thesis to do, or there will never be an end to this.

someday, sometime, love will be.

but far be it for me to say it was a tragic and uncomfortable trip. on the contrary. i had a safe and relaxing flight to cdo. my grandmother was pleased to see me and feed me. i spent time, and scooped ice cream for lovely uncles and aunts and cousins and nieces and nephews, and thanked heaven for generous relatives who give up the very bed they sleep in just for me (goodness me!). my dad came to my rescue, and stopped 'abandoning' me (hahaha, joke), plus i have been having really good times lately with dad and tita and b. you know you can just put me in a car, and you drive, and i'd be happy (oh make sure to make toilet pit-stops). then after the gangplank trauma, i absolutely loved the privacy of my cabin-room for one. i actually love boat rides. hihi. i look forward to them. then i had good times with friends in iloilo. then i had a really good talk with my brother.

so in the end, it was quite a whirlwind but happening vacation where i got the chance to learn many things, some of which i still haven't learned yet, hahaha.

pictures to follow.

Mahal na Ina

"I met my old lover on the street last night."
- Still Crazy After All These Years, Paul Simon

I bumped into my old self last night. I started reading this book and it brought back to me how much of my awareness, consciousness and growth came from my life with books. Books are like friends. They are the unconditional teachers that offer what you Yourself will take.

I was first a feminist from reading. Then friends came along, who brought more books. And of course, there's always Life.

And now, there is Her, our God, the Mother. It brings tears to my eyes, when I read how women have not been free to also define the spiritual. We hold up half the sky, and within us, lies the Divine.

I would give each of you a copy but since I can't, take notice if it pops up in your life :) Bless you, Merry Christmas, mula kay Nanay.


The Dance of the Dissident Daughter
For years, award-winning author Sue Monk Kidd was a conventionally religious woman. Then, in the late 1980s, Kidd experienced an unexpected awakening, and began a journey toward a feminine spirituality. With the exceptional storytelling skills that have helped make her name, the acclaimed author of When the Heart Waits tells her very personal story of the fear, anger, healing, and freedom she experienced on the path toward the wholeness that women have lost within patriarchal faith traditions. From a jarring encounter with sexism in a suburban drugstore, to monastery retreats and to rituals in the caves of Crete, she reveals a new level of feminine spiritual consciousness for all women— one that retains a meaningful connection with the “deep song of Christianity,” embraces the sacredness of ordinary women’s experience, and has the power to transform in the most positive ways every fundamental relationship in a woman’s life— her marriage, her career, and her religion.

P.S. Thanks HB for pointing out this book to me :)

have Yourself

Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree,
For me. Been an awful good girl,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa baby, a 54 convertible too,
Light blue. I'll wait up for you dear,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

I have a confession to make ;)

It's been the longest time since I have felt ...errr, wait for this... the spirit of Christmas! Yes, it's been a long time :D

Previous to this, it's just been a string of romantic disasters, that just made me scrunch up my face at Christmas. Plus the discomfort and fright at traveling; plus the potential emotional minefield that's family. Hahaha!

But then, maybe it's the more regular meditation, the inner dance, the comfort of my space, and the ever-present connections that make the calls of my heart more clear, easier to discern and listen to. And makes me calmer.

Such that, though things haven't changed (hahaha), maybe I am changing.

THANK YOU :)

But wait, I wanted to share with you the signs ...

1. I've put up (as in put up on the hall table as it's super-small hahaha) our tree.
2. I've bought two Christmas motif cushion covers. Hahaha, so cheesy but fun.
3. I plan to buy more red tinsel for the banisters. I like red and green tinsel, it reminds me of my childhood.
4. I also brought down the Christmas CDs. Hahaha.
5. I've made a Christmas playlist on Fiolo (not Christmas songs).
6. And I've decided to make the Christmas trip. On my own. Regardless ... And brave the flippin' flight too. Hahaha.
7. And I say Merry Christmas on YM.

And don't forget, that I haven't even mentioned anything about clothes or presents. Now, that is truly the most hopeful sign of all.

And so, Merry Christmas!

fascinating

photo and text grabbed from Inquirer online.


Track of Typhoon “Mina” (international codename: Mitag) which weakened slightly while crossing northern Luzon Monday morning. Graphic image from PAGASA.

there's more:
"Lando" (international codename: Hagibis) will reenter the Philippine Area of Responsibility (PAR) Monday afternoon, as "Mina" moves out of the country, the Philippine Atmospheric Geophysical Astronomical Services Administration (PAGASA) said.

"Mina" pulled "Lando" back to the country in a weather phenomenon known as the "Fujiwara effect" wherein in a stronger storm influences the movement of a weaker storm.

the truth

the truth is, i am with someone. i'm not available. but i'm free.

last saturday, at a group discussion, someone asked, who among you are in a relationship? i was taken aback. i didn't know how to categorically answer the question. i hemmed-hawed*, said yes, then laughed at myself. my friend laughed along with me. the other friend stared, curious about my reaction.

i guess i hurt myself when i fail to acknowledge that i jumped into the pool. i'm not saying the water's all-good or that it's sunny skies. it's not about that.

it's that i jumped. and i'm in.

*the reason i fail to advertise is that it's been a challenged/ challenging relationship. i understand friends who don't fail to worry. thank you for your love. i have talked about it with those who have told/ asked me directly, and i think they have understood me somehow. all i can say is that there's always a little more space in which to widen our understanding. in the meantime, i guess it's called life :D

getting real

the other day i told my counselee that, you know, LIFE SUCKS.

we grinned. there, we both felt much better.

* * *

the other night, we were drinking at Banca (hehe, rather, i was eating at Banca) and there was this emcee who simply had to insert all manner of sexual talk in all his spiels. if the conversation even for one second veered away from the various organs and arrangements, he would steer it back quickly using many many, much too many, words.

then this girl with curly hair stood beside him, and humorously, parried all his jibes, line for line. and sang wonderfully. and looked so non-sexual. and was funny.

oh, i tell you, she was wonderful. go maya! we love you! :D we may not know you but we're rooting for you. hehe.

* * *

you want a strong friendship, says my horoscope.

i finally arrived at this thought late last night. that this was my grief. that i long for male friends. i remembered carebear, and being in the playground with him (haha) and i almost cried. he's the one i can text at 2 am with my truest thought, and it would be funny, and safe, and non-threatening, and mean nothing more (yes, nothing more, or nothing less) than being perfectly wonderfully friends with someone who knows you and cares about you, and finds you funny, and worth it.

and that i have the right to grieve.

i want my male friends! hehe.

oh my stars

from astro dot com

An evaluation of goals ***
Valid during many months: This is a challenging time in your life. You will have to make many choices about what areas of your life to emphasize. Will you work to build up a new career or continue to build upon a current one? Will you work to make your personal life as satisfying as possible? Will you work collectively with many other people or by yourself?

Often there is an "alienation crisis" with this influence, a sudden feeling of being cut off from everyone else, as if you have spent too much energy pursuing purely personal goals. This in turn generates loneliness and a feeling of being distant from others, even loved ones. Or you may suddenly feel that you no longer have the strength to go on in the direction you have chosen. Fears of your own inadequacies may distort your perspective. All of this is most likely to happen if you have neglected personal relationships in your life. You cannot go on forever without supportive emotional relationships, and you may have been trying to do so.

Sometimes this influence can have the opposite result, and you discover that various personal entanglements have been interfering with the pursuit of your valid goals. In this case you will break off relationships and gain the freedom to go your own way. The issue here is the balance between personal relationships and advancement in life.

On another tack, this period can test your choice of goals. You may encounter opposition from others that forces you to examine whether your goals are really valid for you. If they are, the conflict with other persons or against trying circumstances will be useful. But if you find that your heart is not really in the path you have chosen, you may have to make adjustments and change your course of action. It is far better to do this now than several years from now, when you may be overcommitted to an inappropriate course and discover that you are trapped. Now is the time to change. It may not be pleasant, but it is possible.


Saturn Square Med.Coeli ,
activity period from 30 October 2007 until beginning of August 2008.

staying?

if it's not galore,

it's work
or the kids
or the church
or food (eating)
or spirituality
or money
or sex
or love
or shopping
or beauty
or the rules
or drugs

what makes life worth living?
(what puts pain away?)
being.

what do you say to another?
who are you to say?
in lieu of?

how to be filled from within?
how to find joy?
breathing.

cooking up a storm

it was just past eight when i texted atej to take the tapa out of the freezer, pork or beef it didn't matter. i wanted to cook myself a hot meal soon as i arrived, not so much for the food, as for the comfort of cooking one's self, something, well, food.

who knew i would come to this? just a few days before the trip to the mountains, my cousins' eyes almost fell off watching me unwrap a thawed chicken, place it in a baking dish, and pop it into the oven. me who only knew enough to push around some tinned food in some oil with some onions, garlic, and sometimes, tomatoes. gisa, it's called.

the day after i arrived, the menu was:
breakfast: mess of hot and spicy tuna, omelet/scrambled eggs, loads of onions, tomatoes and garlic
lunch: steamed kangkong leaves
dinner: chicken-cabbage soup, fried little fish

yesterday:
breakfast: tortang talong, squid uga, pinakas

and today:
breakfast: homemade yogurt with bananas, honey, and muesli
lunch: leftover chicken pineapple fried rice, leftover uga
dinner: pasta with beef strips in a yet-to-be created white sauce :D

one-step above just "gisa the can", but you know, it's the cooking act itself, even the slicing of onions into paper thin strips.

so therapeutic.

"The key to getting through difficult times is to take to heart the lesson offered by all the mystics down through the ages. For the mystics remind us we cannot be truly effective in dealing with life's difficulties, unless we ground ourselves in silent meditation and prayer. For in the receptive stillness of meditation and prayer we discern the still small voice that guides us through the night. As we listen intently to all that is going on within us, we can begin to sense the blessings that are already present in the apparent loss and hardship we may be going through at the moment. Surely, this is deathbed wisdom. For, as our faith assures, the moment of death is not simply the end. Death is a door that opens out upon new and unforeseeable beginnings that never end. Learning to see this gain out of loss, this birth out of death rhythm; learning to step into the stream of this rhythm, to move with it, and trust in it always, is to live a contemplative way of life in the midst of the world."

-James Finley, www.myss.com

swimming

lumalangoy lang po!
just swimming.

sobrang dami ang mga nangyari nitong mga nakaraang linggo. karamihan dito ay mga tipong nangyari lang, hindi mo ini-skedyul pero nangyari na lang. hindi dahil sa walang mga kinalaman ito sa mga nangyari sa nakaraan, kundi ito ay ang mga bagay na basta na lang sumusulpot. at ang puwede lang gawin ay harapin ang mga ito.

so many things have happened in the last few weeks. most of these are things that just happened, that you don't schedule but just crop up. not because these are not somehow connected to things that happened in the past, but because these are the type of things that will just arise out of the blue. and the only thing to do is to face these.

there are no heroes, but we all are ourselves. i love that everyone is just themselves. it is in being ourselves that we are most able to help each other, no matter the conflict, the tears, the pain. there exists as well joy and hope. when each one tends to what is true to them, and takes care to grow and learn, there comes always understanding, love, compassion.

for somehow, these are all adventures in compassion. compassion for ourselves, and compassion for the other. that is why we are all in this together. we are inter-connected in life's weave :).

we have been Kissed!

akala ko puwede na akong sumaya.

the diwata kisses the tree


you wouldn't think for a minute, the original scene


was this.


this is how rusty my kissing skills are.

deities and the days

Astro Dot Com
Repair works *
You may be concerned today with repairing something that has broken down, such as an automobile or an appliance. Or you may have to deal with a situation that has broken down to the point that it must change radically in order to continue, even along completely new lines. You may have to contend with a person who is trying to exert unreasonable power over you today, forcing you to defend your right to do things your way. The person may feel that he or she is doing this for your own good, but that is not usually the case. Avoid contact with criminals and do not go into areas where you are likely to encounter street crime. Under this influence it is just possible that you might have an unfortunate encounter.

The interpretation above is for your transit selected for today:
Sun Conjunction Pluto , exact at 20:07
activity period from 24 September 2007 to 26 September 2007.

Yesterday, I got severely told off by the aircon repair men for not maintaining the health and wellbeing of The Aircons, pointing out that I'm lucky the compressors haven't given up after years of neglect. To pay for my dereliction of duty was literally, to pay, with bowed head. It was a dear dear sum, but in the end I was quite happy to pay it (I might not be so happy by the end of next month, but hey, now is what matters, hahaha).

And now, I'm cold. (I hope she is too.)

* * *

My dear dear (phrase of the day) teacher said in her lecture last Saturday: Sometimes we are like Sleeping Beauty, we are asleep to ourselves. We need a kiss to wake us up, but what we don't know is that the kiss is that given by Life. It is the Kiss of Life that wakes us up.

the art of compromise

1. Dump yummy easy healthy instant oatmeal into your favorite mug. Let it fill a third of your mug.

2. Pour boiling hot water into mug, just enough to cover oatmeal. Mix thoroughly.

3. Leave oatmeal for a few minutes to cool down (unless you're impatient, in a hurry, or someone who can't take advice :P). Doing so, protects you from being accused unnecessarily (more on this later), aside from the main reason (coming up next).

4. Scoop Rocky Road ice cream (preferably Magnolia!) on top of nicely-textured, cooled-down healthy oatmeal! Mix a little, keep a little ice cream pure, whatever floats your healthy-unhealthy food compromise boat :P.

5. Enjoy with a big grin! Got one over you, oh guilty ice cream! :P

giddy me to carebear: Guess what I invented! Oatmeal with ice cream! Yummy!

stressed-out carebear: You're justifying your impatience for oatmeal to cool down with claims of culinary success!

me, rolling my eyes: No am justifying my need for ice cream by cramming it with a slew of oatmeal!

overheard

I didn't come here to tell you that I can't live without you. I can live without you. But I don't want to.
-- the Jen Aniston character in Rumor Has It

I read somewhere that love is like friendship on fire.
-- the guy character in the Hilary Duff movie on HBO

This is not my problem so I am not going to worry about it.
-- me

TAG

8 random bits ala La Rossa Keeda

1. she's petite, a woman with long blond wavy tresses, pert and pretty in her blue checked coat, walking outdoors on a nippy new york day. (i already know she's a woman after my own heart as she previously tried her best to let her friend know that her friend's fiance made a pass at her) she turns to her date, her first since her husband died a few months ago, and invites him to check out a gallery with her. it's for work, as she needs to look at some stuff for her boss. she and the date walk in the gallery door and admire the poignant photographs on the walls.

then their eyes lead them to a photograph of her. grief, the camera caught her moment of grief, sitting outdoors on the stairs to her building, broken down, crying unashamedly. the happy woman, unprepared for such a sight of her raw self, unhooks the framed photograph from the wall, hugs it to her chest, and hightails it out the door (leaving her date with his mouth hanging open).

she stole the photograph of her.

and because the scene is in six degrees, my newest favorite tv show on planet vivi, it turns out that the photographed woman is friends with a woman (the one who had a cheating fiance) who is friends with the photograher who wants the photo back. someone wants to buy it from him to be the cover of a book, and he genuinely needs the break.

the photographer asks the friend if he could meet his subject, and she does. she pleads her case: she is a happy woman and she does not want her eight-year-old daughter to see her mom immortalized on the cover of a book, crying her eyes out, bereft. he pleads his: when people see the photograph, they will not see her, they will see themselves. he explains some more. it had been one of the worst times of his life, and when he saw her on the stairs, it called out to him.

he adds that a photograph is made by the photographer and the person he is photographing. but she is adamant: people may not see me but i see myself.

then one day soon after, the good and soulful photographer knocks at the blonde woman's door and hands her a huge envelope. he says he didn't want to send it through the mail, all the negatives of the photographs he had taken of her. he says, "sometimes i forget to see outside the frame."

then a few days later, she sees her little daughter kneeling on the floor of her bedroom, staring at the framed photograph she had hidden under the bed.

the daughter asks, "mommy why are you crying?"
the mother speaks, "i was very sad. i missed daddy."
"i miss daddy too. why is this under the bed?"
"i didn't want you to see me sad."
"but didn't you tell me it's ok to be sad? besides, i think you're very pretty." then the daughter stands up to look for her skates that she thought she had left under her mother's bed.

and this is why i adore six degrees. it totally makes my Mondays :D.

2. so some of you may have by now enjoyed or missed A Love Story starring Aga Muhlach, Maricel Soriano and Angelica Panganiban. I totally enjoyed it. It's about a wife, a mistress, a man, and love. Written very well by Vanessa Valdez.

in one scene, the Maricel character had just had a trying day wherein she had sacrificed her happiness in order to be happy, and even performed convincingly in front of her "public" that she was totally fine. that night, the Aga character comes to see her, fully aware and cognizant of all that she had gone through and given up. he gives her a hug, and she cries.

buhuhuhuhu, this is the scene that made me cry. you know how it is, when it's a moment of the biggest emotional disaster, and someone sees you.

3. i was as neurotic as a child as i am now. i remember my moments of fear. living hours of my childhood traveling on a long winding coastal highway that linked the city to our rural town, i can still remember being instructed by my mom not to look as the jeepney we were riding in took in bloodied victims of a vehicular accident and sped away to the nearest hospital, far far away.

another time, i also remember lying in the backseat with my arm in a temporary cast listening to my parents explain to people outside the car that they could not bring another victim (this time of a hit and run) to the hospital as they were bringing me to the hospital too.

i am still as scared of accidents, and i still don't look. i peed in bed as well, perhaps, a testament to all my unspoken, unconscious, unacknowledged worries as a little introvert child. if you don't know it, piss it. hehe.

4. i learned the lyrics to billy joel's You May Be Right from my uncle's copy of Jingle magazine left in our house when i was a little girl. i memorized it, and i still know the song straight thru. fridaynighticrashedyourparty, saturdayisaidi'msorry, sundaycameandyoutrashedmeoutagain, iwasonlyhavingfun, wasn'thurtinganyone, andweallenjoyedtheweekendforachange, youmayberightimaybecrazy, nobutitjustmaybealunaticyou'relookingfor :D many years later i would have a cassette tape of billy joel's glasshouses and would know all the words to all the songs as well, including youmaybewrongforalliknowbutyoumayberight! yeah!

5. the top five blogs i lurk at (aside from my friends'), meaning i drop by theirs every time i'm online and they don't know me at all are: ala's, pam's, ging's, rosa's and erica's. if you don't know them, well it's your loss! :D

6. for an entire year (well eight months), i killed with my eyes and in my head all the men of all shapes, sizes and form who dared look at my sister as an object and not as a person, and so woe to you if you're a man and you do that and you have no clue how offensive you are! what makes you think your gaze is not intrusive and invasive! show some respect, you dicks!

yes, i have anger issues with men who objectify women (and rightly so, so much for my peace of mind). what makes you think, you're the only one human, and the only one who deserves respect! you know the golden rule: if you don't like being bothered, stop bothering others!

LOOK AWAY :). Staring is rude. I truly believe a good man looks away.

7. i'm trying :) i'malazyassselfindulgentspoiledlittlebabychildwhothrowstantrums but i try :) perhaps when i turn 80 i shall be perfect like my grandmother :)

8. my mom bought me my copy of the little prince when i was small or when my waist was small i can't remember exactly when. it is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye.

I TAG my beautiful cousin Lea, my wonderful friend Tina, my much-missed friend TitaEds, my soon-to-be-mom mermaid friend Nina (hahaha gawa gawa ko lang about soon-to-be-mom), my relocated friend Buddha who doesn't have a blog, my beloved sister Duni, and double tagging the gfs Dee and HB. Don't think we haven't noticed. Hehe!

an eyeful

Strength Mediaworks posters at Men Can Stop Rape!

the Binky Lampano dance

@ the 70s Bistro August 22, 2007

gig was a blast!

Binky and Lampano Alley rock!

sweaty! hehe!