06901

what do you do when a much loved friend sings one song with all his heart? over and over again, the whole night through?

over and over again, the whole night through?

sometimes sending in someone else to punch in the numbers when he's not yet in the room?

0-6-9-0-1. x 2 x 2 x 2. and one more. 0-6-9-0-1.

what do you do? what can you do?
you sing along with him ...

silently,
in your head...

(he shushes, glares and waves a finger at those who sing along).

and you pray that he will one day soon feel better. that God give him strength as he is weary.

and that you won't wake up in the morning with the biggest last song syndrome of your entire life ....

here we go, Christian Bautista revival, errr take it away, Aquarius 17 :)

As I watch you move
Across the moonlit room
There's so much tenderness in your loving
Tomorrow I must leave
The dawn knows no reprieve
God, give me strength when I am leaving

So raise your hands to heaven and pray
That we'll be back together someday

[Chorus:]
Tonight I need your sweet caress
Hold me in the darkness
Tonight you calm my restlessness
You relieve my sadness

As we move to embrace
Tears run down your face
I whisper words of love so softly
I can't believe this pain
It's driving me insane
Without your touch, life will be lonely

So raise your hands to heaven and pray
That we'll be back together someday

[Chorus:] [2x]
Tonight I need your sweet caress
Hold me in the darkness
Tonight you calm my restlessness
You relieve my sadness

[Bridge:]
Morning has come another day
I must pack my bags and say goodbye, goodbye


[Chorus:] [2x]
Tonight I need your sweet caress
Hold me in the darkness
Tonight you calm my restlessness
You relieve my sadness

swirly skirt

Bless :)

I'm happy.

I have too much hair but I'm happy.

It's humid like there's no tomorrow but I'm happy.

I crave the sea and the sand but I'm happy.

I need the bathroom but I'm happy.

I'm going to have a new ID, and it'll be a toss-up between this gulo-gulo hair, fat face id, and that gulo-gulo hair, fat face id, but am happy :))

Haaay. Melting like a lard of butter in a frying pan but hey.

IT'S ALL SUNNY. Great to be cookin' with ya.

Mmmmmmwah.

hello, trees

The best horoscope to read after you wake up at 1030. Hehehe.

It may be hard to find your footing early on in the day, V. You are better off sleeping in for a while. Have yourself a big breakfast and relax for the first part of the day. By the time the evening comes, you will be refreshed, recharged, and ready to take on the town. There is a feeling of restriction on your emotions today that may be making it difficult to express yourself fully. You may be better off just turning this energy inward at this time.

Healing conversation
Under this influence all forms of healing and being healed are especially favored. This influence is also particularly suited for every type of operation on body and soul, whether you undertake this on another person or on yourself. With people who are close to you, you can have deep conversations about those sore points which we all have and which make us react very sensitively to some things. It would be only too human to avoid this situation for fear of the pain connected with it. But, of course, you should not do so, as healing and becoming whole demand certain preconditions which are not readily to be found, but which are, during this time, especially favored.


The interpretation above is for your transit selected for today:
Mercury Conjunction Chiron exact at 14:08
activity period from 22 April 2006 to 23 April 2006.

the Friday that can't decide

originally i had a whole-day class today.
then i didn't.
so i said i'd spend it with friends rarely in town.
but then my other class was going to start today, after all.
then it didn't.
in the meantime, i asked to move a meeting to next week.
then my friends have other appointments.
do i want to chase them to have more bonding time?
then another friend from the province is in town
and is free right this minute.
and i want to meet gf. and gf. and gf.
and maybe bf wants to meet too.

LOL.

i'll clean my room,
and do my collage for
tomorrow's last session
instead:

how have i evolved in this week alone?

gazillions.
my atoms are in motion.

joy joy

happy happy joy joy :)

it is a blessed time :)

i have a midterm due tom. LOL. i just finished my finals and here it is, a midterm. but it's lovely :)

outcome (The High Priestess)

Your intuitive powers are at their height at this moment in time; only by listening carefully and trusting them completely can you embrace that power. Do this and you will make strong, clear, self-assured decisions. Allow for flexibility and expect promising outcomes.

something to guide us:
when is it (when do we?) love and when is it ego?
if we ask, we will know :D

just thought that a great one-size-fits-all people and situations kind of Q to let us know if we're true :)

:)

out of

literally

out of breath
out of steam
out of thoughts

ran out
closing shop

sand, save me

hello, angels
let's hit the beach.

theory of love

WATYUTINK?

Robert Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love (1986)

Liking= Intimacy without Passion or Commitment
Companionate love= Intimacy + Commitment without Passion
Romantic love= Intimacy + Passion without Commitment
Empty love= Commitment without Passion or Intimacy
Fatuous love= Passion + Commitment without Intimacy
Infatuated love = Passion without Commitment or Intimacy
Consummate love = Passion + Commitment + Intimacy

A Side

Nais Ko
by Side A

Nang makita ka'y di ko malaman,
Saan ka galing, saan paroroon
Nakuha mong kausapin ang aking puso
Nakakulong
Ilang araw, ilang buwan ang dumaan
Tayo'y naging tunay na magkaibigan
Kahit malayo ka'y parang andyan ka rin
Sa 'king piling, o may lihim...

Nais kong sabihin sa iyo,
Mahal kita at di kita iiwan
Nais kong yakapin kang mahigpit,
Kailanman ay di kita pababayaan
Mahal ko, mahal ko...

Ang larawan mo'y nasa paligid
Minamasdan at hinahagkan
At habang lumilipad ang aking puso
May binabanggit, may sinasambit...

Nais kong sabihin sa iyo,
Mahal kita at di kita iiwan
Nais kong yakapin kang mahigpit,
Kailanman ay di kita pababayaan
Mahal ko, mahal ko...

this much is true

yes, head on over there now (lotustarot dot com).

they have free readings, and if you're clear with yourself (you acknowledge to yourself how you really really feel) then the readings are really good.

after all, my last paper was on projection and synchronicity thru card readings ;)). it's just you. there's nothing to be scared about because it's just you.

what you most want at this moment (The Hermit)
The cards suggest pansy, that what you most want at this time is to know what to do, as well as companionship or a lover as you feel somewhat lonely or isolated at the moment. Perhaps you are feeling exhausted and in need of a rest - if you have been ill this is a time for rest and recuperation.

so true, funny how it seems, always in time but never lined for dreams ... ;)
this is the sound of my soul, this is the sound.

outcome (The Lovers)
Love is coming into your life even if you really can’t see where from at this time. If you are on your own a new lover will soon enter your life. If you are in an unhappy relationship you have a choice to make - go with your heart, take the risk, greater happiness is ahead of you.

mwahahaha, alas, alack. i am in love with my new swimsuit. ;))

a.w.w.l.m.

A Weird Woman Like Me
Yes, it's true. When you say you're weird, probably, you aren't. :)) Just lacking in attention :D. But whatever.

There are some people with whom I am very circumspect. Probably because they're much noisier, and I'd rather leave them to it when my voice can't be heard above theirs. When they try and ask (because I know vivacious people often feel strange around those too silent and feel pressured to become more vivacious ;)) questions to try and get others to talk, it's more difficult to answer because of the pressure.

(As an aside: maybe that's some of the "good" in equilibrium theory. As applied to intimacy it means that people strive towards an ideal level of intimacy, a level they themselves set. When it's too intimate, they back away. When too distant, they try to get closer. ... But I don't mean about intimacy this time. Rather, maybe it could be like the sensor in my overhead water tank. When water decreases to a certain level, the pressure tank goes to life. ... Meaning, if our consciousness had a sensor, we'd tone down our voices and say less, to give more space for others to speak :) those who need more time and space to warm up. And likewise, sensing the space, the more silent will talk too. ... All these without pressuring each other but in an atmosphere of kindness, acceptance and respect ;)) ... wow sounds like too solemn a situation... wahahaha)

But what I really wanted to say was, without saying much, and just smiling a lot, I had a good time really. A lot of it was also because I wanted to weep. I felt like crying because I love them. I do.

Hahahaha.

there i go there i go

old friends, good friends, missed friends

sad ako sister na wala ako noong nangyari ang krisis na kinuwento mo kanina,
kahit na alam ko na hindi siguro ako ang kailangan mong makasama sa panahon na iyon.
natutuwa lang ako sa bawa't pagkakataon na tayo'y nakakapagusap na tayong dalawa lang. siguro isang beses sa bawa't taon. at nangyayari lamang dahil sa di inaasahan o pinaplanong pagkakataon. (at siguro iniiwasan din natin magkita, at mayroon tayong kanya-kanyang dahilan.) sa bawa't pagkikita, naaalala ko kung bakit matalik tayong magkaibigan. at na mahal kita :).

(hayun, nahanap ko na ang inaalala kong konseptong Pinoy tungkol sa pagkakaibigan, at ito ang pagiging matalik na kaibigan.)

***

noong naghiwalay tayong lima noong Sabado, naisip ko na baka di rin tayo matutuloy sa ating pinag-usapang pagkikita ngayong linggo. alam mo na, mga bisi, balisa, maraming iniisip, may sari-sariling buhay. minsan, natutuwa akong magkamali. magkikita tayo muli! bukas :)

***

dati (1), iyong dati (2) kong mahal ay nanggigigil sa alaala ng mas dati (3 ;)) ko pang mahal. ayaw niyang tanggapin o alalahanin na dati may iba akong mahal. kaya para di na makagatong sa kanyang nararamdaman, di ko na rin masyadong kinukuwento ang tungkol sa dati. nakakalungkot din lang kasi, that was a beautiful time. at ganoon din ang sinabi noong mas dati kong mahal. sabi niya rin, that was a beautiful time. (ang mas cute, sinabi niya ito noong nagkaroon siya ng bago, hehehehe).

***

iyong isa ko pang mahal (iba pa), hindi niya rin maatim na minahal ko iyong dati (iyong isa, hindi iyong mas dati). hindi ko na rin masyadong binabanggit kasi may mga isyu din ako sa sarili ko. pero ang totoo niyan, minahal ko rin iyong dati. maganda din ang panahon na iyon.

hayun.

vows

single, "old," cranky, fab

claudine on tv: raymart, i truly believe it is God's will for us to be one.
fab1: to be one?! hindi ba puwedeng to be two? kailangan bang to be one?!
fab2: oo
fab1: eh kahit naman sa lahat ng binabasa ko on intimacy, walang sinasabing to be one

****

claudine on tv: raymart, ... i promise to inspire you. ...
fab1: roommie, i promise to inspire you. ...
fab2: ayaw ko nga!
fab2: ayaw kitang maging inspiration!

hahahaha!

****

claudine on tv: ... and your number one fan.
fab1: ay gusto ko yon!

shades of edwin mccain. i'll be the greatest fan of your life. hehehe.

maybe i can submit this instead?

intimacy~

from the map i am currently writing
the map of intimacy:
a guide for development psychology

i and the other:
when there is mutual knowing (says Kathy)
and being in each other's company (adds she)

and there is mutual vulnerability (says Cordova and colleagues)
and validation from self disclosure (says Reis and Patrick)

a stage we reach (says Erik Erikson)
the self constructed in relation (says H. Sullivan)

intimacy was when i made myself fully available
presence, support, and knife to to chop chickens
the anxious perfectionist chef

when i attune myself to moods strung out
in words and letters strung together
thru text, each message sent from me
pieces and moments of me for you

it is a nod across the room
a sudden all-knowing smile
the hug spontaneous

i am here for you
you are.

and so am i,
says you.