gf series 3: isang-puno-bukid

am recruiting for one tree hill ;))

brooke: but he's a guy, peyton. they're all the same.
peyton: brooke, you have lucas now. enjoy it!


brooke: i like what i like and i do what i do, and that's me.
lucas: and i like that about you.
brooke: but the books that you read, and the music that you listen to, i don't know anything about that...
lucas: but i've never asked that of you. i like that we're different.
brooke: i'm sorry, but you're the first great guy that i've ever dated, i've never cared a rat's ass before...
lucas: i care a rat's ass about you too
*kiss*

lol!


*****

brooke: i'm leaving for the entire summer, perhaps forever, and my bestfriend is engaged in some kind of foreplay with a kinda married guy, and she has an interview...(blah blah blah)
brooke: ok, what are you doing?
peyton: (dialing phone)... ok i know you're feeling needy right now, so i'm calling to postpone the interview for after you leave.

gf series 2: the sisterhood of the traveling pants

for every girl whose life has been saved at one time or the other, or oh just the other day, and starting from when you were six, by girlfriends.

bring food (we recommend planet pita's meal of lay's sour cream and onion, [choose your pita sandwich], and coke), tissues (enough to pass around), and enjoy! :D

my eyes started watering two minutes into the movie :D

i remembered my school girlfriends of long ago, and trawling the "mall" shop by shop on Saturdays. and the sleepover party they threw for me the first semestral break i was home from college. and the fact that every time i meet one of them these years, i'm always so glad, they're so nice! and open-minded! (hehehe!)

gf series 1: the future of the world

gf, the future of the universe rests on your shoulders, errr, sorry, your egg :D.

you are the last woman on earth and you have two choices.

who will father your child?

a. someone who smells great but isn't too smart
b. or someone who's sooo smart but isn't too fragrant?

hey hey

my my

:)

journey to whatis

Wednesday
Carebear: I give up, I’m never going to get out of this place. Besides, meeting for coffee and studying is not conducive for studying. Why don’t we set a date for Saturday at the mall?
VV: I’m not sure, I don’t know when B is coming back and when I’ll see him. I’ll text you on Saturday.

Friday
Roommie: So what are you doing tonight? If my dinner with C does not push thru, and the dinner with F does not push thru either, want to watch a movie? (lol! super fallback position :p)
VV: I don’t know what I’m doing tonight. But I really want to see B.
Roommie: Ay! Oo nga pala.

VV: I want to go to Brass Munkeys later, but I really want to see B.
Priestess: Yes, see him. I want you to see him more than I want to see you.
VV: lol! But if I can’t see him, can I see you?
Priestess: lol! yes, VV it would be my pleasure.

Honey: Hunny and luv, are you really going to BM later?
VV: Yes honey! And I’m really looking forward to seeing you there.
Honey: Ok honey!

Carebear: So if you have a date tomorrow, can I tag along?
VV: If I don’t have a date tomorrow, let’s hit the mall.
Carebear: yes! yes!

Buddha: Baka puwede naman tayong mag-kopi bukas? (with carebear)
VV: I don’t know. If I’m not doing anything tomorrow, I’ll text you.

Priestess: Am seeing a rose tomorrow.
Hers: A what? A rose?

Saturday
HB: Busy tonight HB? Want to study at Coffee Bean after dinner?

* v * v *
Get well soon Bryan.

concentration keeps the rhythm

concentration now begins...

childhood chants. adult rants. :D

my brain after all is working. it's concentrating on hours-long chunks. yesterday chunk: synchronicity. last night till morning: ICT. noon till now chunk: research methodologies. must now move into the role of men in families chunks for my next class, not to mention a side trip to siblings-relationships chunk for my report in two weeks.

my heart, however, is all of one chunk :D. (let's not get into what my heart is saying lest it get my brain out of order, like my printer has gone bonkers, banging around without producing print.)

oh well, good enough i live with an iraqi :D

VV: roommie roommie don't worry, you're now an iraqi.
roommie: whaaaat? why?
VV: yahoo says, 'Iraqis miss third constitution deadline.'
roommie: wahahahha, gaga ka, i hate you.

we are girls with deadlines :D

roommie leaves room haughtily, "right, i am going back to writing the constitution."

law-ay

I think am starting to fit the fiction novel description of the graduate student: hairy haggard and ugly!!!!!!!

But I've just finished my first ever review of literature since 1992. (Now you know why my previous masteral degree experiment failed. LOL.)

101 advice

for those fallen in love:
do it all your own way babes :))). sure, people and the world have done it certain ways, certain days, but do it the way it works for you, as yourselves. (it's not very easy though. it's like the roadmap's been all laid out since you were born, and when you go for a ride, you will tend to follow the roads :P but you can drive right up the tree and down the other side if that's what makes your hearts beat.)

for those dreaming:
once you commit to something that you wish for, and it's something that's to the good, and you're willing to put your heart and soul into, synchronicity will take over the parts that you don't quite know how to get to. commit and pay attention :D

for those stressed
SLEEPING ALWAYS WORKS! ;)) there's nothing that's not helped by a good night's sleep.

oh, that's 3. i also often think giving advice ought to be illegal. hehehe.

when fate intervenes

there they were all in a row.

six types of pumps, all winking cheerily at me, in their reduced price glory (from the original P2,400 to P800).

and all of them in smallest size 7.

tata! my size six self went home with the one ream of copy paper that i set out to the mall for :) (and two pens, one pink :P... one must still have one's little material treats)


* * * * *

So.

The role that John-wider-Cusack (hehehe! someone is going to get mad) is best at: the one who was born only to love Her.

The role that Diane-beauty ever-Lane is best at: She the lovable one, whom "lower" men failed to love.

:D

gaga girl

was all set to work earlier, after a happy sandwich that i've been craving for for a week or so (yes, the sandwich is feeling positive affect, so there! hehe!). i was ready, set, go.

but then i got interrupted, and didn't have my space to myself (these things cannot be helped of course because it's not really just my space, just that i had claimed it for my review of lit ;)) ) and i. just. couldn't. wait. to. be. alone. again. and i was dying for it, and finally, i was, and still i didn't couldn't work.

i had taken a break, and bryan was online. and bryan and i are perfectly fine. and today is a non-chatty day for me (in any form or medium except this blog hehe), and online, he, too, was in non-chatty form with me. and that's ok. and i really like how i don't get mad at bryan anymore these days (which means we're good with each other). but then i can't rid my system of this insiduous idea that if you love each other, and especially if you don't see each other that often, then the norm is that you should be talking. this, even if i really didn't feel like it anyway.

and even if i already knew that now and then "in love, alone," is normal. :)

and this, even if i already knew, that if i should get lonely (for some reason or no reason), i should ride it out till the end of its days, so to speak, because that's really the only thing that will cure it anyway, and not him or her or whatever else so i might as well spare people the psychic burden. :)

so i went upstairs, and cried instead.

but now, tita e is online and am happy. lol. and i've just realized something funny funny. ;))

ps. bryan,ilabyu. ;))

you say it best when you say nothing at all

i have nothing much to say :D

1. i miss bryan (hey, bryan! :D)
2. i'm finally updating my virus thing (as we blog)
3. me and joannie were yeheying to each other about that excellent movie ang pagdadalaga ni maximo olivares (yeheying right across the philippines) ... and about the moon too
4. me and duni have been chatting for a few nights now, nice :). am going to be a psychologist when i grow up and my sister is going to be an archaeologist, while my brother who is a pastor, will probably be a pastor with lots of fish :D on the side
5. the librarian was amused that i checked if they were closed yesterday, because my books were due yesterday.
6. i'm starting to write my case study :)
7. i've had a full week (fully sociable week hehe): i saw three movies, had a massage, went to a conference, went to a friend's party, went to an album launching. this is all strange, for me. :P i only do one sociable thing a month! (a lie)
8. i have just about paid all my bills (for this month).
9. we have broadband now but i keep getting kicked off it anyway.
10. in the book flow, psychology of engagement with everyday life, the author said people keep misinterpreting eastern teachings about letting go of goals and desires. such that they become lecherous instead, making any good buddhist's hair stand on end (hahaha this made me laugh). plus lots of buddhists don't have hair.
11. i'm gaining weight again, being too appreciative of food hahaha.
12. it's just that there's lots of people, and lots of love (i feel loved by you gfs and bfs, and fam), and that's why life is full.

certified cuties

this post is to certify that the following people are certified cuties, and specialized knowledge experts on two domains of information (tell you what in a minute). ;))

they are undoubted angels answering to the urgent call for help of crammer vv ;)).
here was my plea:

Dear Cuties,

I have an urgent request for which I am at the panic stage ;)) (assignment is due tom). I need a script on something I know next to nothing about which can be something that I have never done, an experience that I have yet to try, etc, etc. Then am supposed to look for three key informants who are familiar with the target event and therefore possess script knowledge of it.

So here I am, please share with me your script knowledge about:
(i had a plan a and a plan b for just in case i didn't get enough info about a or b, interchangeable btw)
a. how to get semi-secretly but legally married in the Philippines
b. how to take the ro-ro from metro manila to panay island

I am supposed to get you to share with me as complete an account of your knowledge of the event as possible, to include all the script components. Please find in the first box below a sample of a script and its components. Then in the second box, please fill in the script for (a or b).

Thank you so much, libre ko kayo kape. Hehehe!

without telling who answered which :D :P, the following can claim at least a cuppa, and my high-regard and affection:

1. My dad!!!!
2. HB who is very busy but takes the time for me anyway
3. the mother of Gabo another cute heart
4. cris carebear
5. buddha who answered despite his traumas
6. atty erap pa rin
7. old friend peanut :) (i was hazel, remember? lol
8. my other co-Cap ex colleague

THANKS AGAIN! :D

and so i did.

;)) we actually RAN out of the tequila party.

it's been so long since my last tequila party.

it makes me want to throw a tequila party on the occasion of my first anniversary at gleaming.

hmmmmm...

i should go out more often

;))

hahahaha.

i'm becoming somewhat a manul girl to gimiks.

******

it turned out to be a lovely Monday :)

cheers! :)

pa-kiss nga, mga kaibigan :D

*waves magic wand*

I find that I will always meet the thing that I need to know/ read/ write on my forehead for this moment's moment.

Such as Keri Smith's ENOUGH.

(Last week, I 'accidentally' picked up an entire journal issue on qualitative psych research in the library after randomly sitting at the journals room for the first time, just a few days after I thought I needed to find out more about quali research methods in psychology.

On Saturday, I said I will get to watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with the person I ought to see it with--maybe just myself--after having invited four people to watch it with me in the course of the last two weeks, and thought of asking four more, and made non-fixed plans with the Priestess to see it but we have a whole lineup of move to-do's and she already has been to Charlie though she did declare outright she'd watch it again with me :D. So thank you HB :D. And thank you dd.)

So today, this week, anything or some, or all, or none, any of it will be enough.

tucking my useless stalker self firmly under my armpit, i climb into bed

say you were really a beige, but then you were light pink. guess that means you went off-color.

it's been an off-color day. but that's just me. so here i am running around like a heedless headless chick-un on the net, bumping from blog to blog, friends of friends, friends of lovers, ... it is such a small world so if you really have something to hide, better not blog :)

but otherwise, the more the merrier :D

and see you all in the blog afterlife.

sleep.

and you find yourselves humming love songs again and again ;)

yup! you deserve it! you deserve this happiness. :)

me too. am happy for you. :)

rain's gone

i had a grand time :)

i walked a long way almost every day. me, my umbrella, deserted streets, a cloudy sky with a slight drizzle. (i was the cucumber and the rain was the vinegar, and together we made a yummy salad.)

or ice cream on a rainy day.

or noticing the darndest things: the tricycle driver singing a rock love song under his breath, driving me to meet gf in the rain, so we could walk to coffee.

i read lots of stuff.

it just got scary when it rained too hard.

the sixth ticket

willy wonka, i wuv you.

such perfect teeth. such bizarre humor. and the hair cream to lock in the moisture.

hihi.

nice boots too.

a song for my wet red sneakers :P

am on a rainy-days-songs spree. if we can be the best of lovers, yet be the best of friends...

7. HOW DO YOU KEEP THE MUSIC PLAYING?
Music by Michel Legrand
Lyrics by Alan Bergman and Marilyn Bergman

How do you keep the music playing?
How do you make it last?
How do you keep the song from fading too fast?
How do you lose yourself to someone
And never lose your way?
How do you not run out of new things to say?
And since you know we're always changing
How can it be the same?
And tell me how year after year
You're sure your heart will fall apart
Each time you hear his name?
I know the way I feel for you it's now or never
The more I love, the more that I'm afraid
That in your eyes I may not see forever, forever
If we can be the best of lovers
Yet be the best of friends
If we can try with every day to make it better as it grows
With any luck then I suppose
The music never ends
I know, the way I feel for you
It's now or never
The more I love, the more that I'm afraid
That in your eyes I may not see forever, forever
If we can be the best of lovers
Yet be the best of friends
If we can try with every day to make it better as it grows
With any luck then I suppose
The music never ends

a song for my un-pamunpon-ed clothes

the wind suddenly blew into my third floor classroom, bringing with it rain from the wall of glass windows.

texted the priestess to play an mp3 for me, and she did :)

walked down the deserted hallways, skipping puddles.

a kiss in the rain till the sun shines thru

bagay sa ulan di, ba? ;)

:)

;))

hala kupo ah.

allow me. wednesday teach said stay with your feelings.

i want to savor this happiness.

:)

"real isn't how you are made, it's a thing that happens to you when a child loves you for a long long time. then you become real." -from the v. rabbit

girlfriend: "naiinis ako dahil ..."(even though this and that and this)... "i will always try to make him feel even just a little better :-( :-( :-("

vv: true, gf :). (i mean i completely understand what you're saying)


* * * * * * * * *


One of my fears :P

From last night’s episode of ED:

Ed: But you slept with the mailman!
Liz: It wasn’t the mailman! It was a mailman! He just happened to be one.
…
Liz: And besides did you ever stop to consider why I slept with him? … (stands up to go, starts to leave)
Ed: (bolts up from his seat, and asks, impulsively) All right, why?
Liz: (stops and says quietly) Because I was lonely. For you.

I’m not sure I would sleep with the mailman (I’ve never seen the mailman, nor the bill delivery guys, particularly after the buzzer died hehehe) because I feel my fear of the permanent consequences would be greater than my loneliness. Even if in certain circumstances, maybe, the mailman would in fact be good for me.

But still, in the days when I project into the future (which you shouldn’t do when you’ve resolved to live by the power of now :P), I fear that in the rush of life and people and complications, intimacies that are fragile and strong at the same time, are taken for granted or swept aside or trampled upon. And my heart bleeds.

(Again, this is why one should live in the now, and appreciate what one has! Why go into despair over something that isn’t real? Hehehe!)

Just that that Ed-and-Liz situation is all too real. If you will remember the movie Milan, and the OFW couple-friend of Claudine who had respective spouses in the Philippines. Or Lost in Translation. I mean about loneliness. That you should also take care of those you love who love you, are they still ok? Are they lonely? Are you talking? Are you present and taking the time?

Maybe this is why I always understood my ... ;)

sofa snoozer

words of comfort for a deadline-haunted sofa snoozer: You're no slacker, so why are you giving yourself such a hard time about taking a little time off? If anything, it'll be better for you -- a break will bring you fresh inspiration and energy for your work.

the nines

today is exactly five months since march 9.

and i say, ye-ey, ye-ey, ye-ey.

the breathing exercises continue :) yoga rocks.

letyoube. letmebe. letyoube. letmebe. speaking words of wisdom, letusbe. :) a you're adorable, b am so beautiful ehehehe.

biogesic works

i like myself a lot.

i mean that in the full knowledge that i suck at some things, and am great at others. i mean that in the full recognition that though i grew up thinking i am ms. universe (lol), i am ms. me and that's enough.

i mean that on the occasions when i meet some fab person, and say, oh she's such a great person, i wish i were like her. and then i remember that after all, i am me, and i like myself a lot. and then i say, yes, she can be she, and i can be me, and perhaps we can get to know and like each other more.

and i mean that on meeting the uncertain in every day. and i give up and say, well uncertain, there's no way i can solve you or change you right now, so i'll just continue on being me, and see how you and i are ten minutes from now or tomorrow or next year.

and when i don't like myself, i know that i like myself enough to do the things that can make me fully like myself again.

*v*v*v*v*v

one of the things that upset me about my readings aside from their length and number (no, i don't really get upset about that), is when i read that blank is a predictor for blank. or that blank is not a predictor for blank.

such as personality is a predictor for marital happiness, or responsiveness is a predictor for growth-nurturing parenting is a predictor for nurturing, balanced personality (is a predictor for marital happiness, there you go :D).

because while i appreciate learning what works, and what's good, i get upset at the formulas this implies -- that we must be this and this and this to get this and this and this effect or become this and this and this.

because life is complicated, and i would rather know what can possibly be done today to make people feel better, and have hope, and grow and heal :) because few can fit into the formula, and even then, things can go wrong.

i get bothered by the defeatist and the defaulting. (although compulsive do-good-ing is not a good thing, as most compulsions cover up other troubles :D)

so i guess that's why i'm in this counseling course. i want to know what can be done with the way things are :)

*v*v*v*v*v

which is not to say that we need to be other people in order to be better people. as my wednesday teacher said, the greatest sin of psychology is to make people think they have to be better. that they have to constantly improve themselves.

when they are already all that they should be. when the thing to do is not to change or improve themselves but to heal.

like when joannie mentioned this quote from if the buddha dated. that it's not to change but to unmask one's self.

and i say, and to be healed.

love vv

there's no end to the length of quiet street i can walk under an umbrella on a slightly rainy day :)

walked all the way home. :)

the other day walked over and around and back, on campus :)had a fruit shake on a rainy day.

anyway. am going out for a short break. roommie is huddled in her cardi on the sofa saying she feels cold, eating dark chocolate squares.

when my girlfriend was in sweden, she wrote to tell me about beer and chocolate. they can make you warm.

roommie has the chocolate, i'll go for the one beer. :)

i feel the need for a little celebration. i spent my friday night, saturday morning and afternoon till 4 pm, ENTIRE SUNDAY, and Monday morning till 2:15 pm on this 15-page report, and finally i feel a little good. good work, vv. ;))

no matter that i have to come back to a 3-page report and what will probably be a 15-page research proposal. and two long blog posts brewing in my brain.

it's raining, and i made a new friend, and my shirt is mint-green and am taking time off for good behavior.

good mood required :D

eh ano naman ngayon
kung nakasimangot ako
sisimangot ka rin? ;))

two hypersensitive
hyperreactive people
in love and friendship ;))

halikan na lang at
hagkan muli.

sabi nga ng nanay ko
noong maliit pa ako
tama na yan ang yam-id mo
at kukumutin ko na yan
ang maganda mong mukha

hehehe!

(oh my poor mother and her sulky child :D oh my poor beloved you :D
group hug. hehehe. baliw ako ngayon promise)

we were beat

sitting a long spell in the deserted park on a sunny afternoon under a green checkered umbrella to keep us and our precious bench dry from the steady drizzle.

a motorcycle whizzed by -- two men in glasses and jackets and the one behind the driver reading a book on a motorcycle in the sunny rain.

i hate it. two people much weirder than we.

;))

:|

Life, so depressing. Unless you remember to live in the moment (and thank God I can always seem to rely on living in the Silence within me. It goes on and on, It just is.)

Plus, I have made my best cup of coffee in a long while.

Mmmmmm.

wasnotwastoowas

iwasstrange, you said and
when you left, i agreed
iwasstrange, i felt
and this is what i came up with

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

on the other hand,
maybe that wasn't so heart-full,
therefore less honest,
and not the real me.

:D (the one that would have knocked down walls just to get what i wanted even if i had torn it to pieces in all the ruckus)


psyching one's self against disappointment
isn't all good, isn't
living from the soul allowing for the
heart to hang out there and be hurt?

:(

but on the other hand,
that, too, was this, that
my love allows: to let you.
:) i guess this means it's both

:P (the one who's batting much better, thank you)

no way if i can help it

hehe (rueful).

i have finally gotten tired of beating myself up over some things and can actually take myself in hand and say, stop it.

and the only reason i can do that really is because i know it. i've decided. some things i don't want to happen anymore if i can help it.

so i do.

and i can think of one other thing i also decided a long time ago that won't happen again if i can help it.

and i probably always can.

and i hope i get to helping it, really, on many more things.

scopes

the other day, there were two dogs on the street who appeared to have missed/sumalangay/miscommunicated with each other, and so they failed to meet up (like that song: you go your way, i go mine, sometimes we disagree/ this foolish pride hurts us inside/ why not meet me halfway ....Seven Up).

i said, "mercury retrograde."

bryan protested, "that's over the top! dogs don't have horoscopes!"

but since i am not a dog ... (i am a pig! i am a pig! :D) ... i have several. and two of today's are story ideas for soap operas.

1) You might find that you are making better connections with men at this time, V. It would behoove you to reconnect with men who you may have lost touch with. The male energy can bring an entirely different perspective to the table. Respect and honor this viewpoint, but at the same time, don't let go of your strength as a woman. The feminine energy is quite powerful and should not be overshadowed by the energy of a man.

Go peks hehehe :P

2) In the life of any couple, there are easy days, and then there are days
that are a little bit tougher. Today might be tougher. Good thing you
two are like Rocky I and Rocky II. No worries.

NO WAY. We're not Sly Stallone!

I am a pig! I am a pig! :D
I love a dog ;)

the things that i get and don't get

looked up yesterday in wilkipedia, the free encyclopedia (the things i don't get):

1. a priori
2. hermeneutics
3. teleology

the things i get:
1. 1,000 years of friendship
2. 48 years (hehe. ex. 48 years to connect to the internet)

isn't it true though? 48 years is such a far cry from 1,000 years :D it's but right.

yehey

;))

familia F

in my psychology of family relations class, we took up the systems theory. essentially, it looks at the family as a system made up of different parts or sub-systems, and functioning as a whole. there are all sorts of subsystems like the spousal pair, or the children together, or this parent and that child, or this parent and two children, etc. you have to consider all the parts or the members of the family in the light of the entire family system. always the part in light of the whole for the whole is greater than the parts.

also, any stresses or changes affects the system as a whole, affects its equilibrium. when the system is upset (thru normal family transitions like births, deaths, children going to school, etc), the equilibrium is disturbed. however, the system will always seek to find its new equilibrium.

last week, i realized the perfect example of the family as a system, and i don't mean my gang of t's and g's. rather, i mean the f's :D. there was this parangal ek for the ex-officers of my ex-office/ organization. let's call my colleagues, cohorts, comrades and co-witches at my ex-org, the F's. at the beginning of the night, i felt a bit sad that no one among the F's dared speak/ give a testimonial about our mother F. i mean more than anyone else (people from the F board and the F network), it would be testimonials from the F family members that would mean the most or would hold the most truth. but no one would.

i myself wanted to but did not want to. hehehe. i only wanted to speak if ten other family members also spoke in turn. this because i didn't want to humiliate myself (wahehehe), and also because i felt i could only give a small part of the entire picture, and the best would be if all the other parts of the puzzle showed themselves too so i would be "in context" and the picture would be "fair." i also did not feel like i could represent the others or speak for them, i could only share of myself and my experience, and my lessons and my growth :).

luckily for everyone, and easing the potential heartbreak of it all, co-host for the night joannie took up the challenge, gathered her emotions together, and spoke up, for herself, and really, for the staff, the F's. oh chester, thank you :) you couldn't have said it better, i think. thank you for saying no one wanted to speak up because it didn't seem like the right venue for it (somehow, the matter of sg F seemed too intimate and too private to us all, needing a more appropriate--safer-- space and venue). and also for explaining the family metaphor, you gave the overall picture of what we are, who we were together, for so many many years.

indeed we were a family in our complexity, and in our chaos. in our fun, in our pain. and the inescapable fact of mother f. it seems somehow, in retrospect, that she defined that world for us, taught us how to perceive it, how to analyze it, how to live in it, how to strategize, how to tacticize. we knew the world thru her, like how newborn babies conceive of the world thru their primary caregiver.

there was also no getting around her. she was our friend and our boss, the enemy and the beloved parent combined. we liked her and loved her, we were in awe of her, and often disliked her intensely. often, she was helpful, was also loving, also neglectful, and a challenge to relate to. but she was ever-present even in her absence.

we all related to her in various ways, and like a family we existed in various sub-systems, including our respective sub-systems with her.

and the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. and it seems an injustice to take on the whole from simply the perspective of a part or several parts. our experience and our life together was one entire reality, that only those of us who were really there could really understand.

and so here we are at the parties, and other events, catching up with that family, and those parts of our selves.

the best of mercury retrograde

in memory of our
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZer

it's gone!
WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

big eyes big eyes big eyes

because i am actually very fond of my cousin richard with whom i got on a bicycle with my brother when i was a kid, and we immediately keeled over, and them two toppled on me and my left elbow was dislocated.

because he persists in forwarding me stuff and i rarely answer and when i called him to ask for ceres bus info last summer, he asked if i misdialled and we laughed.

because i miss our little oyster-trips in his pickup many vacations ago, just the three of us.

and because i'm presently fighting paranoia.

here's an email from rick:

Did you know ???


Did you know that when you envy someone, it's because you really like that person?

Did you know that those who appear to be very strong in heart, are real weak and most succeptible?

Did you know that those who spend their time protecting others are the ones that really need some one to protect them?

Did you know that the three most difficult things to say are: I love you, Sorry and help me

The people who say these are actually in need of them or really feel them, and are the ones you really need to treasure, because they have said them.

Did you know that people who occupy themselves by keeping others company or helping others are the ones that actually need your company and help?

Did you know that those who dress in red are more confident in themselves?

Did you know that those who dress in yellow are those that enjoy their beauty?

Did you know that those who dress in black, are those who want to be unnoticed and need your help and understanding?

Did you know that when you help someone, the help is returned in two folds?

Did you know that those who need more of you are those that don't mention it to you?

Did you know that it's easier to say what you feel in writing than saying it to someone in the face? But did you know that it has more value when you say it to their face?

Did you know that what is most difficult for you to say or do is much more valuable than anything that is valuable that you can buy with money?

Did you know that if you ask for something in faith, your wishes are granted?

************************************************************
right, let me end there.

happy birthday mr. padilla. ;))

casting iron

melt my fright in the warmth of your affection.

melt your anger in the fire of my love.