Gazillions

Gazillions to do!!!!!
Pansy, pay attention!!!!

House-hunting, maybe

As intutive reader Bong said (this is all my own words so please excuse him if I get it all wrong), imagine what it is that you want (in this case he was referring to work), and how you would feel doing what you want, and feel that feeling. The opportunity will manifest itself. The universe listens.

Walked around in the rain yesterday afternoon, looking at townhouses. (I love walking around in the rain even if it's so tiring! Hehe!). It made me remember all the reasons why roomie and I chose this apartment, three years ago, over the others that we looked at.
1. The bedroom windows take up one whole wall.... airy!!!!
2. There is air and light from both sides of downstairs.
3. The bedrooms were bigger than most of the usual apartments.
4. The kitchen counters were longer than most of the usual apartments.
5. Being part of a compound adds to a feeling of safety, that there are others around you. It's not immediately the street!

There are really only two things that could be better where I live right now. Closet space and the cats!!!!!

But here's my working townhouse.
Airy, with large windows. Has a porch, has only two floors, but three large bedrooms. Has an airy area at back for doing the laundry. My clothes must get their amount of sun :-)! Kitchen too that gets some air, to dissipate all the cooking smells. Huge closet space and some space that can be made into a work area. Does not need to be air-conditioned (ahhh, the cost of electricity!).

In two words: airy and bright!

See you, house of momma ;-)

Saturday

One myth shatters.
The memories shift.

Still,
many matters are clarified.

in the stones

Here's some of what my rune reading on the 21st of May had to say.

That this is a period to learn to be self-reliant. To try not to give and receive help, to not reach out, to not be abused. To keep to myself for a while. This was the theme, and the runes say that this is important.

(So if anyone notices that I've been keeping out of your hair lately, this is it. Not a bad thing. Just my For Now.)

Paradoxically, the runes also said that I should be alone in crowds, and not by myself in my room. I write this up because one of my most peaceful, happiest moments lately was lying in the hammock -- a most splendid comfy duyan -- at Terra Rikka, reading Josephine B., and listening to my colleagues drink, sing and carouse (laughing by myself at their jokes! hihihi) at the next table. To be in company and yet not be company!

Also, I have noticed that I tend to be happier at home when roomie is around somewhere. Or if I know that am going to go out and breathe different air with a friend at some point in the day, rather than have the whole day to myself (even though I need to sit down and write a gazillion documents, and for this I need to be alone for long stretches :-D. Or get a laptop and work at a coffee shop, and get mugged on the way home. Hehehe!).

Other stuff that came up, noted down here in a rush of words: lovelife (what you sow you reap, so you sow good, reap good in a year), female authority figures are good (follow what your boss has to say), yes there is enough resources in the family on the matter of houses, there's going to be strange communication from someone from your past (hmmm, did that just happen yesterday. maybe?), partnership with someone but not about love will be fab.

Corrections and additions might come care of the owner of the lost and found green notebook :D

TMaTD Friday

The Divine

Had a date this am ;-).

With one of the only two (or four?) people in the world who can summon me across Metro Manila on a Friday morning (not on time though, hehe!). Daddy-O.

GRIN. Spent a few hours on updates on the Towers of the Philippines and their various antics -- the comic, the tragic, and the heartwarming. As anyone from a large, extended family knows, it's always a bit Isabel Allende's House of the Spirits-like, very magic realism.

[aside: and having just recently emerged, blinking, from the years of the French Revolution via part one of the fictionalized version of Josephine Bonaparte's diaries, life is always a bit the same through the centuries!]


The Mundane

1. Do I eat oatmeal before a party? Am sooo hungry, and I love milky oatmeal on a cold rainy day. But dinner-party's starting in an hour!!!

2.
TMaTD: hmmm this is not healthy behavior ... (talking about TMaTD clicking activities :-P)
TMaTD: fax who cares ... (gives up on self-judgment, indulges anyway)
thevelvetd: there's no such thing as snooping on the internet ... (supportive)
This is how stalkers are created.

3. Oh, and my copy of the Da Vinci Code is lying desolate in the postal office. I just got the notice today. It awaits me! (thanks to the kind Capricorn soul who sent it :-) ). Your rewards will reverberate from this lifetime to the next ;-).

P.S. hehe!

Dancing behind closed doors

One of the frills of being alone in an office room is dancing to Michael Jackson (that alleged perv hehehe!) to your heart's content, without anyone knowing!

We are the world, we are the future .... HUH?!? Hahahaha.

Dogged Evening

For the third time in the month of May, Ive found myself having to announce (declare? explain? ASSERT!) to the next door neighbors askal dog that I live here. And therefore could he please quit barking and move away from my gate so I could get in?

To Whom It May Concern

:-P :D :-) teee heee heee

An important matter on names:
I'm on a baptizing spree, and have named myself different names for different people (just this moment and maybe only until 12 midnight). I am Maria Eula to the Lioness because we are new non-Catholic fans of Mary. I am fat eula sings with the eqyptian priestess because I also must have a name only for her blog, and if you will visit her blog, you'll know why (no there isn't a fat picture of me there, but there's a poem and it's not about me :D hehe! but i can relate with it, but more widely ;-) ).

Ahh, but I am sweetheart to myself. Hehehehe! And will always be HB to HB (unless I forget and remember our real names! :-D).

Sightings

My friends have been in the company of my ex-bfs in this past week. What a happy thought!!!! There's Proof! These men - well, 2 -- exist! I once had a lovelife!

Hehehehehe! [pansy chuckling, poking fun at self].

122 years ago

Maybe it's the way a pansy in the fields looks up at the sky, that celestial events are so fascinating. Here's what astrologer Kelli says about next week.

Rare Transit of Venus: June 8, 2004
Get ready for an extremely special, very rare astronomical event: On Tuesday, June 8, the silhouette of Venus will cross the disc of the Sun. It's like an extraordinary kind of eclipse -- the last time it happened was in 1882. This won't happen again until 2012, and after that not until 2117.

Astrologically speaking, this rarity has some amazing implications. The life-giving Sun represents consciousness, while Venus symbolizes the feminine -- the power of love, relating and consensus; the principles of diplomacy and protocol; artistic endeavors; and (last but not least!) money or value. With Venus so tightly aligned with the Sun, these ideas are likely to be very much in the zeitgeist. Look for women of power (Condoleezza Rice, Martha Stewart or Hillary Clinton, perhaps) to be in the news -- or issues of women's power. Important partnerships may be announced in the financial world, or a milestone in world currency, or news about conduct or propriety. Venus is a lover, not a fighter, so this transit could also be promising in terms of a worldwide peace movement.

On a personal level, relationships may be profoundly influenced, so be mindful about matters of the heart -- be sure to balance the give-and-take. Bear in mind, too, that Venus is retrograde during this period, so things may be going on beneath the surface in the love and relating department. This may not be the best time to make permanent decisions about partnerships (though you may be tempted to!). For best results, keep the lines of communication -- and your heart -- wide open.

'Tis June

Get into the habit of believing. - egroups horoscope. I LIKE that. [full smile]

As for my lovelife, "there may be competition you're not aware of. If you don't make a bold move soon, someone could steal your beloved away." - Russell Grant horoscope. I DON'T LIKE that. [ominous toothy grin]

Shrekkie

Hehehehehehehehehehe. (The sound of a new convert giggling. Sorry, in my usual slowpoke way, I have just realized the error of my movie omissions :D. oh what GREAT FUN. Just like our high school productions.)

Pansy Plan

Aaaaargh, I don't feel good. Am taking to my bed this weekend, hiding under the covers, going on a juice cruise. Must work too though, hehe. Anyway, my pc is within winking distance of the bed.

Soon, it will be June.

Low Batt but Tanned

Am back.

I like these "un-related" phrases. The ones that make you go, "huh?!?" with matching weirded-out expression. I am tired and woozy but I am tanned and pretty. I am the most visibly tanned of them all due to backstroking half the length of Mairaira blue lagoon. Backstroking because it was a far distance to get to the rocks part and that was the farthest I've exerted effort in a long while (hehe!).



Mairaira was lovely, simply gorgeous. It was a placid blue lagoon this time, half-deserted and hence, more beautiful. The water was calm and clear and oh so very blueeee. From up where we were snoozing on life preservers, just resting our heads on the styro, we could see clearly to the sandy ground about 10 feet below our raisin feet.



We hung out.
Swam about.
Jumped around.
Drank some sun.
Loved the clouds.

And corrected the spelling. It's Ma-i-ra-i-ra with two I's.

I stand, tanned and edited. :D

weather report

The weather continues to cooperate. It shines when were walking, rains when we're in the van, sprinkles when we're swimming, shines when it's time to take pictures. It pours when we're taking showers and eating dinner. We ought to always trust in the weather ;-)

Pagudpod, take three

Peace, love, eternity within. Laughter, the healing powers of water at sunset. Calmer waves, lovely lovely room with bathtub, AND GLOBE SIGNAL. hehehe. Hhhhhhmmmmm. Humming happiness.

--
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whos afraid of the guardia sibil?

To my endless amusement, it looks like we have
stumbled into the set of Jose Rizal's Noli or Fili, our
much studied texts on Spanish colonization back in
high school. We drove into Vigan at 5 am and are now
parked by one of the cobbled streets of old Spanish
houses. We are waiting to be apprehended by the
guardia sibil for being in Vigan too early. Or perhaps
we could catch a glimse of Maria Clara on her way to
Mass. ... now back to my forty winks ;)

North expressway

From my perch by the window, I can see the crescent
moon. I am happy. And excited. I love being on my way
to somewhere. And get this, the highways are DRY!
Hehehe! It is evidence that tomorrow the sun will be
shining. :D. ... I see strange sites by the roadside.
One looks like a grounded UFO. Another seems like the
construction of a UFO airport. Hehe... Food report:
Started on the curly tops, one packet of cream O's, S's
graham crackers. Now searching high and low for M's
boiled peanuts. Hehe.

=====
*Life is a road, and I want to keep going
Love is a river I want to keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever
Wonderful journey*

-At the beginning from Anastasia the movie

celestial approval

"A few days of rest and relaxation will rejuvenate you. Perhaps you should take a short jaunt out of town..."

Packing light

Into my backpack...
1. A child's faith that tomorrow, the sun will shine.
2. chocolate cream o's and curly tops.
3. The Many Lives and Sorrows of Josephine B.
4. Thoughts of you ;)

P.S. Welcome back Maha Maya, Nemo and Lovey (hehe!); Happy Birthday Antonette :D

Britannica Concise Articles

These articles were sent to you by Viola.

Read here and
here.

Rain makes me feel

COOL. :-D

I also like rain although I adore summer. I like rain when it comes after a long steaming summer. The sudden change is refreshing.

Rain and sun signs:

A Capricorn friend told me she likes the rain. She likes being cozy inside the house with family, doing fun and cozy things. I feel the same way (I like being tucked in but still "in touch" with the sound of the rain falling, preferably thru large clear windows.)

Rain makes my Libra friends (two of them anyway) feel blue.

NGUY NGUY

A minute of silence please in memory of Hector, the only real man in Troy and Sparta.

--
This message was sent from Globe MyMail. To sign up for free mobile email, send MAIL REG to 2386.

Up on the roof

How fascinating. Rain and clouds from up on the 41st
floor. I want to tune out of the meeting (in which
there is a bully girl that i want to declare my rights
to as an independent individual hehehe), sit on the
carpet, and stare out the glass walls. A pansy far
from the fields :D

=====
*Life is a road, and I want to keep going
Love is a river I want to keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever
Wonderful journey*

-At the beginning from Anastasia the movie

They tuck me in each night

And give me nightmares! Hehehe! On my bedside, literally the side of my bed :-D, is a pile of books (what else). I have started all of them, hehehe! (Oh dear!)

I wanted to share the list with you because I love that each book (except for the last one which is a compilation) is about a woman persona, a CHARACTER living in her own peculiar time.



The Moon Under Her Feet
By Clysta Kinstler
Bought by myself for my Aries goddess gf. (though I haven't given it up yet! :-P)
This is a narrative weaving the biblical account of Mary and Jesus, the Egyptian myth of Isis and Osiris, and the Sumerian story of Inanna and Dumuzi to create an exotic tale of a strong, sensual woman.


The All-True Travels and Adventures of Lidie Newton
by Jane Smiley
Bought by mysef. Jane Smiley is a personal favorite.
Publisher's Weekly says
An immensely appealing heroine, a historical setting conveyed with impressive fidelity and a charming and poignant love story make Smiley's new novel a sure candidate for bestseller longevity. Lidie Harkness, a spinster at 20, is an anomaly in 1850s Illinois. She has an independent mind, a sharp tongue and a backbone; she prefers to swim, shoot, ride and fish rather than spend a minute over the stove or with a darning needle.



The Many Lives and Secret Sorrows of Josephine B
By Sandra Gulland
Lent by gf C. Josephine B, ;-)
The Barnes & Noble Review
The Josephine B. of the title is the woman who became Josephine Bonaparte. Framed in diary form, this historical novel catapults through the parallel worlds of French poverty and Parisian splendor melting towards the bloody revolution. A prophecy seen strewn among tarot cards gradually begins to materialize.



The Bitch in the House
Edited by Cathi Hanauer
Recommended by Cancer gf to Cancer gf, and bought for me by mumsicle
In 1931, Virginia Woolf wrote "Killing The Angel in the House," a stunning attack on the Victorian ideal of the constantly dutiful, perpetually self-sacrificing wife. In The Bitch in the House, Cathi Hanauer takes Woolf's act of demolition a step further, offering a podium to more than two dozen independent-minded women, who write about frustration and anger in their everyday lives. Touching on issues ranging from obesity to the overrated joys of motherhood, the contributors retain their articulateness without losing their rage.

I wanna be with you

...To be the one who's in your arms, who holds you tight
I wanna be with you
There's nothing more to say
There's nothing else I want more than to feel this way

Self-pollination

Hahaha! I've not been doing this theme on purpose, but what else can I conclude from today's horoscope? :-P

Capricorn

Love, children, and creativity will play important roles in your life for the next two weeks. If you've been talking about having a baby, this is an ideal period to conceive. In the event you're a swinging single, you could join forces with a cuddly playmate. Of course, you may opt to retreat to your own private corner and work on an art project of some kind. Whatever your pleasure, it's sure to satisfy.

***

Venus in house position 9. Love and travel are linked now. Perhaps water will separate you from an amour, you'll live with your sweetheart away from your native land or you'll fall for someone from abroad? Cosmopolitan contacts will bring riches and love into your life.

crushed on

My working list of females I have crushed on:
(list thought of while listening to Aiza Seguerra's version of Power of Two)

1. boyish and 'buot'-looking, this Japanese woman in one Asian conference almost a decade ago
2. Aiza Seguerra (hahahaha)
3. (secret :-P)
4. oh "of course", our goddess of darkness :D

more later

5. Julia Stiles!!!!! I definitely have a crush on Julia Stiles!

some more later

hehehehe! am i trying to prove something to myself here?

Shoeholic sisterrrrr

Got this on the email. My Scorpio sister taking a snap of her comfy shoes while waiting for the bus. Hehehe!

Three snaps of Baguio

It's cold in Baguio at night time. The view from SM! Hehehe!


Documentor's bedroom. Matching the walls ;-)


The promising gender-sensitive young men of the group Jacinto!

ahem

i miss you! ;-)

 

(testing mail to blogger ah)

good vibes hehehe!

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Pansy under an umbrella

The pansy wants to make pabukot under a huge yellow dotted payong muna and not talk much. You can make kalabit of course! Pansies like being connected even if they're hiding out under an umbrella. Just as long as you don't want to make me come out and show my face, you can hold my hand, :-D (now you know how my sociable roomie feels when she wants to talk and i just want to be mum hehe! i love you roomie, we are one in rental, if not in communication. but that's ok ;-))

Having said that about wanting to be alone, how to say this -- to take me seriously but please don't take me seriously :D hehehe!

Ahh, so much to write up to share ...
1. the summer camp for young men on gender issues and baguio :-)
2. my crystal ball reading!!!
3. my replies to cancer dude on some women points we were once chatting about
4. the trip to pagudpod that seems like eons ago but that i still want to write up. hehe.

the "reality show" is off the air :D :-P ohmmmm.....

p.s. new template though ;-) gfs, do you like it???

p.s. and the last two lines are what i mean exactly by don't take me seriously at all but take me seriously :-D :-) ... oh mwah to you!

A Pansy Votes

I was a pansy.

From an article in the Seattle Times entitled Suitably Sultry "...reveals what Georgia O'Keefe's paintings glorified — that flowers are a plant's reproductive parts. The discreetly ruffled petals of pansies or roses lull the nonbotanists among us into forgetting the sexual potency of flowers."

I had a past life reading last Friday, and according to the reader, I was a pansy. Which struck an immediate chord because a viola is a type of pansy. (A viola is also a type of violin, and a lead character in a play by Shakespeare.)

I was asked by the reader how I felt as a pansy. I answered solitary, prominent, etc. And she asked, "Isn't a pansy bursting with sexuality?" And a pansy is a flower near the ground. A grounded flower bursting with sexuality. A CAPRICORN. :-P

Here are some pictures of pansies, and a viola too, to entertain you while I write up the transcript of my reading.

Bless.



a painting by Georgia O'Keefe (black pansy)


a painting by Dorothy Pyle


VIOLAs!!!!!

P.S. the yellow pansy up on this page is by Annie LaPoint

Fall from Grace

Tuesday this week was welcomed with both excitement and trepidation as my weekly horoscope had this to say -- Tuesday could be the most interesting day this week, as you might need to rise to a challenge, while still retaining your dignity. The question of dignity isn't usually a problem, as you naturally bear yourself with grandeur. But as there is going to be a Full Moon in Scorpio at this time, you might find that despite your best intentions, one social outing could prove too much, and you might end up disgracing yourself in one way or another before the night is over.

While I was interested to find out how things could get interesting (and they did too, a bit starting with a dead cat on my doorstep, but this is a story at another blog :D), I was also fearful of how I would disgrace myself. Would I be running around the campus streets naked? Would I fall into an emotional pool, and spend the night crying into my friend's shoulders?

Aquarius herself was a tad fearful -- if Cappie broke down, what was she to do? (hehehehe! Maybe she was visualizing having to carry me over her shoulders bawling! :-P). On the other hand, Pisces gf clapped her hands in glee, and soon was lost in happy remembrances of her various disgraceful encounters many of which involved moonlight, stars, sand, water, and males (hehe!).

Sad to say, there were no scandalous encounters beyond me persisting in singing reggae (wanna make you sweat, sweat till you can't sweat no more) and being politely ignored.

However, Wednesday this week, there was a "fall from grace" as Cancer gf confirmed that I am no longer the one she looks up to! No longer the one she solely admires because since my days as her heroine, many wonderful people have come into her life. She has also come to appreciate and celebrate the goddess within her. I've become simply normal, just another friend in a huge web of wonderful friends. And am so relieved. Hehehe! I didn't think getting disgraced would feel this good ;-).

As I did write in this blog a few weeks back -- ... I think when some friends have to describe me, it comes out as if I'm dead already. Hey! I'm as petty as petty can be, just a hot and bothered molecule in the middle of matiaga. If you pinch me, I'll bite you. Please don't put me a step higher coz that means you won't bother with me and anyway am too lazy to stand still. I'd rather be sitting on the step eating crunchy green mangga. And I don't like being a step lower either although that's often where I place myself. Because belly to belly is best :D. ... I don't want to be an oracle, no one wants to go to bed with the oracle, who could sleep????.

'Nuff said. Am sure, Libra gf can relate. :D I've long become normal to her goddess self too! Hehe!

Girl Goat

One of my pastimes is observing myself from an amused distance (because as that Charlotte Kasl author of If The Buddha Dated keeps saying in that book, we must treat ourselves with compassion, humor, and tenderness ;-)).

One, I always seem to end up asking after people's work. Am not even very conscious about it but it's true, much to the chagrin of Aquarius gf (hehehe! there's a story in here but let her tell it herself :-) ) and our combined amusement at each other. Maybe because work is part of personhood, particularly from the perspective of a mountain-climbing goat. Maybe because it's one of those shortcuts to getting to know people. If what they do means a lot to them or is part of their person, then it certainly is a clue :D. But don't worry about it, I don't think I box people according to what they do or their day jobs. It's just that I'll tend to ask :D.

Two is that I do tend to be quite reserved with people from the start, unconsciously wanting to wait and see muna. There's a good part to it, in that offhand, it seems like the "sensible" (lol) thing to do. ... Wait till you know more or are sure :D.

On the other hand, I'm also grateful to the people who leaped into the void, and "picked" me -- my silent smiling reserved self -- and chose to befriend me (off the top of my head, Taurus gf, Libra gf, Pisces gf and many more am sure, and a cute story to every encounter as well) and saved us a lot of time. Also those people who seem to have a thing for seeing the soft side of goats like Aries gf and Aquarius gf. I think also that Cancer gfs and I will tend to grow on each other -- it takes some time before we do trust each other with our selves or discover each other completely.

I find this trait funny when I remember passages on Capricorn in the one hundred and one astrology books we've browsed so far that says that courting a Cap is like going to a job interview! Hehehe! But I think this is less the "problem" of the "job applicant" that that of the shy and fearful-of-ridicule Cap. I think people just need to be themselves anyway, and Cap will be Cap until ...

They finally pick you ;-). I've also noticed that when I've finally picked the people who might or might not have picked me already, that I tend to be quite true (GRIN, this is not an ad, promise). I tend to be quite true to the spirit that is you, and will be quite ready to defend you to the death (naks, I did a quick mental survey of my dearest and closest and think that I've somehow "defended" each one at some point or the other, which is not to say that they have not done the same for me :-) ).

And last, I've observed that I'm hyper-observant! :D I can usually guess or sense where people are at, and often have a broad understanding of people's processes and persons.

But the challenge usually is, to connect knowledge with kindness and compassion. For of what use is it for me to know if I don't care? It's the caring that counts, and I thank you all who have brought and continue to bring me that lesson.

:D

P.S. Thank you's are in order to Aries gf who bought me that book a year ago, and to Libra gf who is currently reading it and enthusing about it, and thus inspiring me to go back to it. That book is just multiple O's. Hehehe.

Buddha blessed moon

Major solar and planetary alignments take the day off just before we reach one of the main Full Moons of the year -- what's called the Buddha Festival or Wesak -- scheduled for tomorrow afternoon. Thus, even though there is a cosmic lull of sorts, intensity is still building hour after hour. Creative, artistic juices are flowing in the morning -- thanks to the Moon in Libra trining Venus in Gemini (1:06AM PDT) and Mars in Gemini (9:50AM PDT). This latter time begins a void lunar cycle lasting until 1:40PM PDT when the Moon dives into the passionate pools of Scorpio Moon. The sleuth within takes over once the Scorpio Moon begins in earnest. Ferret out secrets relating to your family tree or learn more about ancient places of magic and mystery. Research, library work, psychological studies and investigations of almost any kind make sense right now. The evening builds to a Moon-Uranus trine in water signs (11:51PM PDT). Let your intuition guide your intellect, logic and commonsense.

from Yahoo astrology (hehe!)

Distress is a clue...

to the wonder that is you :D.

Dear gfs or others in distress,

** DISCLAIMER FIRST: Not thinking of anyone in particular, just a thought I want to put out here and anyone may use it if it's useful, claim it and propagate it :-D

I find that it always helps me to recognize my distresses, to put my finger on them and allow myself those feelings. ... But not to stop there. To start meditating (thinking, reflecting, praying, dreaming) on where these feelings are coming from. Why is a good question that need not be feared. And often it takes a lot of why's to uncover the complex landscape within.... Why am I feeling this way? If so, then why? And then, why? Why is a journey to more of yourself, and a journey that you fully deserve (because it is a good journey to make :D).

It also signifies that you're not giving away responsibility for your happiness to others around you. YOU are what makes you happy. Others can't make you happy. You can :D. I bet others also have their hands full with their own journeys and if we all journey side by side now and then, we're truly blessed.

Also, to backtrack a little, we give so much of our time, attention and a sense of importance to our joys and our happiness. Maybe we need to realize that our sorrows, our fears and our distress also need our attention. Sitting with them, making them our family, getting to know the other stuff behind those feelings, will help us bring ourselves to a better place.

A better place where we are able to communicate ourselves better to the people that we hold dear, and take up our issues and our feelings with them. But to do so from a centered place within ourselves, such that our encounters become mutual learning sessions, instead of blame-fests or more opportunities to be hurt :D

The thing is, we are together because we have much to learn from each other. And I betcha everyone has something important to learn.

Oh, and a last point for me and others: one thing I've learned from the past several months is that people are also fragile, handle with care. Compassion is a good thing to bring along, and if you can help it, try not to create more hurt. Be mindful.

Love you.

;-)

At the beginning

I can't help it. I've always always always LOVED this song :D (a bit like Let Your Love Flow that I also love especially the Sister Hazel version). Found it again today because my Windows Media Player always does that to me, surprise me with songs I've always had but don't pick all the time. Maybe because I think people might think it a cheesy choice. Maybe because the reverse psych side of me sometimes avoids things that are "good" for me or are "substantial" (hehe!)? Maybe because a long long time ago, I shared it with an ex-lover and don't want to be brought back to those songs and that time (wala lang).

Notwithstanding all that, here goes. For everyone who means a lot to me and whom I want to be standing with at the end of the world, at the beginning :D.

We were strangers
Starting out on a journey
Never dreaming what we'd have to go through
Now here we are
And I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you

No one told me I was going to find you
Unexpected, what you did to my heart
When I lost hope
You were there to remind me
This is the start

Life is a road, and I want to keep going
Love is a river I want to keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever
Wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
At the end I want to be standing at the beginning
With you

We were strangers
On a crazy adventure
Never dreaming how are dreams could come true
Now here we stand
Unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you

Richard Marx And Donna Lewis
At The Beginning

Moments

I love those little moments of absolute certainty.

When I wake up in the morning and ask Myself whether I still want to sleep or not and the answer comes back loud and clear -- no, you're ok, you're ready to be up and about, and hopefully, running :D. Then I know that I want to be up and about and extra sleep will just make me miserable.

Or when in the middle of working -- reading, writing, thinking -- I ask myself if I want to take a break -- watch tv, eat something, text, read something light. And then I feel that no I want to be working.

I love those :D. At those times, it's not even my conscience or the boss in me speaking, but the totally "I".

:-&

feel greeeeen. feel like i drank water from the swimming pool. eeeeeew.

anyway, must go read work and multiply :D

love to all those who need it :D

from, feeling love parade :P

Justify My Love

The bidding has begun!

Last week, gooooogle email (gmail.com) opened its doors to active bloggers! Thus informed, we (the velveteen dd, leigh cheri and i) ran, pell-mell, post-haste into the arms of google (taking off high heels, sneakers in hand and trying to put on the comfy pair while running for greater speed)! We can certainly do with that one gig of email!!!

Nevertheless, we still somehow remained ignorant of our extremely good fortune. Leigh Cheri's most-loved felt peeved that for the moment, as a non-blogger, the doors still kept him out in the cold non-gmail world :-D. After all, wasn't he the one who had told Leigh weeks ago about the impending new google email???? (And Leigh felt equally peeved at herself, having missed one "r" in her login registration, hehehe but that's another story.)

The velveteen's friend, long-time google fan Dahon's heart was broken. She so admired google and wanted to be in too. A pleading email from velveteen to google on her behalf proved futile, as even the blogger founder [thanks leaf, for pointing out the faux pas :D i want to be in google's good graces, and yours ;-)] had this to say in his blog -- Sorry, I can't invite everyone to Gmail just because you write to me. Especially if I don't know you. And that's true even if you created a Blogger account and/or are a long-time Google user. For one thing, I don't have that many invites. And for another, I'd never get anything else done.

But today, this invitation winked at me from within my gmail -- Invite a friend! Thanks for using Gmail and helping us improve the service. We're ready to expand our test to a few more users, and because you've been a trusted early tester of Gmail, we're looking for your help. Please invite a few more people who you think would like Gmail and could help us make it even better.

And I still have one more invite left for anyonewho badly wants in into intelligent email -- for one, you get to see your emails as entire conversations!

It's like the last brownie game in Notting Hill, says Leigh. Tell the mundane and the divine, why you deserve gmail? :D Just write to themundaneandthedivine@gmail.com. The best entry wins!

Winners will be announced on Monday, May 3.

Bless you all for we will email :D

Soul Sister Conversations

The phrase "the mundane and the divine" is actually from soul sister on fire, Ms. Morgaine.

We had been talking about, love :-D. What a more complete "romantic" love connection should include. We thought how many relationships start from attraction and sex. Some ignite from intellectual conversations. Others are borne of emotional attachments. Then when the two people change, grow, the one other person is left behind or the two extend into different directions.

Perhaps if two are united and excited on many different levels at the same time, from the start, there would be a more complete and more fulfilling interaction. Things mundane like never forgetting to buy coffee (or else!!) or even saving up water in the summer when taps run dry.

Or, beyond the tastiest bedroom adventures and the most exciting discussions on how things should be run around here, things divine like a body massage (hehe!), and a shared silent prayer.

Hence, the mundane and the divine. After all, us little devils and occasional angels will have our rants and our moments of great wisdom.

Last Saturday, soulful living kept cropping up in yet another long conversation of the sisters of Avalon (:-P).

Maya Marches

Libra gf forwarded me a list of feminist jobs with this short note - ewan ko ba bakit forward ako ng mga ganito sa yo eh ayaw naman kitang umalis ng UP Village. he he he.

GF, am so glad you're in washington this weekend, marching for my condoms, among other things :-). Wanna be there too ;-) but since i'm not (and after all, we are also walking the walk and talking the talk here where condoms+++ are just as important and a million times more scarce), walk an extra step there just for me, gf! Am with you, and everyone who knows and does that "women are people." (Including the men :D.)

...And that anytime and everytime is not always the right time to have babies... And and that everyone wants a chance at having the babies they want in the best possible conditions... And and and that the best possible conditions include, when there is love, time, and money, for everyone including the kids already living.

O ye all who profess to know better than women what should be good for women, you have this to think about. It's this thing bandied about for the last century or so. Step into hershoes you priests and keepers of morality and the faith, and live her life. then perhaps, you too would know.

But really, gf, can't wait for you to get back so I can tell you about My Intuitive Reading at Runes Cafe :D. And listen to your stories!!!

Upside Down

One click of whateva and then my entire screen made a 180-degree turn! Hilarious! Was actually pretty good at reading upside down. Managed to save onto diskettes my most cherished files (:p) and most urgent work documents. Even did a virus scan, and searched thru control panel settings looking for an antidote. With increasing panic, uninstalled Kazaa even! It seemed like something only a virus could do, and one by a virus writer with a sense of humor (my mom still looked cute upside down on my screen with her short fluffy hair).

After lunch and a few panicked calls to the IT guy, I bumped into the Intel icon and did the rotation. Whew! Safe again for now! Still a week to go in Mercury Retrograde, when all things to do with communication can go wrong.

Could this be a metaphor for something that's about to happen? :D

Pagudpod, November 2000

Sister Sandra,

Thank you *mwah mwah mwah* for the instructions on posting pics (and thank you too DD). But I want to show you the BIGGER WAVES pictures from three years ago. The two above are after-the-storm pics. So, I need a scanner. Now na!!! Hehehe.

Sister Wendy Darling,

Where's the bikini album :-P. You sent again the moral true and right album. Hihihihi.

I must stop blogging,
Eula

Movie Recommendations

Note to me, the Capricorn girl with short-term memory loss:
1. Secret Lives of Dentists, says Libra honeybun
2. Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind, says Cancer dude
3. Whale Rider (I think. Hahaha.), says the FWI

Just so I remember who to blame :-P

The Honeybun Emails: Ilocos Tales

Libra so kindly agreed to post emails from the road during Our Holy Trip to Pagudpod. Decided to repost them as emails to her from last week. Next time, honeybun, we go on vacation together. Do you realize we've NEVER done that yet? -eulala

1. Dawn
Two hot pink Jansport backpacks, side by side. In a
line to get tickets at a bus station. A looong line.
Imagine, no peeing and no bath for the next ten hours
at least! Things checked: Joanna wala pungos (hehe!),
Aida maraming drugs (mefenamic acid, paracetamol,
loperamide), Eula walang kalaro walang tigabuhat ng
mabigat na bag :). Other stuff- J has 72 shots, A 72
shots, and E 40 shots and 100 poses. Hihihi. The line
refuses to move coz there are no buses. Its 510 in the
am. Lab you honeybun, am mega sleepy! Mwah!

=====
Every time I hold your hand it's not the same :P
Posted by Leigh for Me (Violie, honeybun)

2. G R E E T I N G S Capricorn
4/7/04 -You're pleased with the company you keep. Even if you just met these people or were thrown together by circumstances, you get along wonderfully. You're also ideally positioned and well stocked. Maybe you planned ahead and fulfilled your shopping list. Maybe you're just lucky. However you filled your shelves or cued up your resources, everything you need is exactly where it should be when you reach for it. Are you just tooling along, taking life as it comes? Are you lining up the factors for an important decision that you have to make? It's your move. You're pleased with the company you keep. Even if you just met these people or were thrown together by circumstances, you get along wonderfully.

posted by leigh for me (honeybun)

3. want some eggnog?
Mmmmmm. Having Vigan longganisa for the second time.
With sukang Iloko. Freezing cold Coke. Coffee after.
Heaven well deserved. It took 20 hours to get here! OH
MY GODDESS! hahaha. Six hours to get tickets, and
fourteen hours drive. Imagine the bus pulled out at
830 and we stumbled into Currimao at 1030 in the
evening! LOL. ... But the moon was beautiful (esp thru
a bridge darkly), the air so sweet, and the sea so
soothing. We fell into a deep and dreamless sleep ***
Daytime, four bikini-clad girls set themselves up on
the beach with the nicest little boy in the world! ***
I bet Aemon would adore the shore :D

=====
Every time I hold your hand it's not the same :)

You Ya?

I love this! It’s in Ilonggo English. It’s Aquarius’ answer to my question as to whether or not she’s happy up there in her tower.

I’m bored to death (pretending to be a teen). There’s nothing I want to read, nothing I want to watch on tv, nothing I want to eat! Don’t feel compelled to buy anything and am not in love with nor interested in anyone (well I am but not urgently, it can wait till I feel better). Not looking forward to anything exciting and am potentially depressed by work and school at the moment.

Nothing to do, nowhere to go, left to me, have to just be.
Am doing “be.”

But the real reason I’m out of sorts is that Destiny Cable has taken control of my day’s destiny and thrown it into the trash.

Do you think if I turned on the volume to Harry Connick Jr., super loud the people in the meeting downstairs will notice, and get into the grumpy mood too that I am promoting? The more the merrier. Oooops, the grumpier.

:-P

silly saturday

It's far too hot to be happy. I'm proofreading something that needs editing, not proofreading. I'd rather be at the beach. I'd rather be making kulit TNF to death till he wants nothing else but shove me into an icebox and sit on the lid but he's safely asleep or married or kissing someone not me or obsessing over his split ends (haha can't imagine this). Even honeybun kulit is also safely asleep and married and thankfully not kissing me but I can imagine her obsessing over her split ends (at least while the little scorpio cutie is asleep and the Philippines is at lunch on her laptop). I can't even pull my roommie's hair or pinch at her love handles coz she is safely a plane ride away. I can't inteview another emote-girl about her sex life as she has taken herself to another continent where it is cooler. I envy her right this minute. I would rather be in England obsessing over sweaters than in the Philippines being preoccupied with slippers. Right this minute alone.

Am just tripping and have already succeeded in cheering myself up. Am blogging without benefit of an internet connection. In the middle of everything, it died again. I don't really mean to cheer myself up. Why? Why did I cheer myself up?

Sometimes I think when some friends have to describe me, it comes out as if I'm dead already. Hey! I'm as petty as petty can be, just a hot and bothered molecule in the middle of matiaga. If you pinch me, I'll bite you. Please don't put me a step higher coz that means you won't bother with me and anyway am too lazy to stand still. I'd rather be sitting on the step eating crunchy green mangga. And I don't like being a step lower either although that's often where I place myself. Because belly to belly is best :D. I often think affectionately of my body but my clothes like to shrink themselves spontaneously :D.

I want the space and the freedom to be nothing, sometimes a lot, sometimes a pest, sometimes the cutest thing you can think of. For you to know that I make sense but am nonsense. I don't want to be an oracle, no one wants to go to bed with the oracle, who could sleep???? Am so sorry, I often live in my head and although I love to poke fun at my Saturn, it does exist. And anyway, with the right breeze, its head of hair turns wavy. Endearing.

:D

At a fastfood joint over ziti and chicken romano, one SM shopping bag each (shirts on sale)
Capricorn: Guess what gf!?!
Aquarius: What?!
Capricorn: You actually finally have the teeshirts (normal tees with sleeves) you've always dreamed of.
C and A: Hahahaha!

The silliest pettiest detail actually being one of the profoundest things of all.

It means that I know and understand how Aquarius is tired of being seen as a sexy woman, as just a sexy woman. That sometimes she wants to cover up her sexy self in neutral tee shirts to stop being noticed or treated as merely an object. That she often wants this something fierce but this desire co-exists at any given moment with her natural joy and enjoyment in looking good, in looking great. And many's the time, we've attempted to shop for neutral clothes but end up getting something else that makes her look yummy. Still.

But last night, tee shirts. In all the colors of summer :-D

Huhuhuhuhuhu

Spent the morning crying my eyes out in front of my Spam lite, rice and coffee, and with McGyver in the background (yup yup Jan Michael Vincent ladies and gentlemen LOL). Crying over A Day Late and A Dollar Short, I think Terry McMillan's latest book. The main character is called Viola. And she died WAAAAAAAAAAAH. But that is not why I cried. :-D

I forgot to bring the book with me but I want to quote a passage from Viola's letter to Paris, her oldest child who could be Gemini, Capricorn or Virgo.

Oh, read it. Do. Will lend it.

A touch of objectification...

never hurt anyone. Mweheeeheee, took the physical attraction test at match.com and here are some of my results. It was fun picking out men, click, click, click! Collect and select heaven :D

What Is Your Approach to Judging Which Men Are Handsome or Very Attractive?
Unique Tastes In Men: You are open to seeing a variety of men as handsome. Sure, men with "movie star" good looks catch your eye, but you are often equally wowed by more normal "cute" guys. You're not one to judge people based on their looks. In fact, you're genuinely drawn to men that others might dismiss. Maybe it's because you don't buy into society's checklist for "mainstream" attractiveness. Instead, you notice unique features like a strong nose, beautiful eyes, or a cute butt, that make some men special in your eyes. For you, attraction is about the total package.


Smiles
You love men with big, happy smiles. You were much less interested in photos where the men had small grins or serious expressions. Although you probably didn't notice this tendency, the preference for big smiles fits your overall interest in men who look fun, friendly, and approachable.

Your Favorite Body Types
One body type that seems to appeal to you is scientifically called "Endomorph," which roughly translates into solid, stocky guys. He's not overweight, but his big bones, muscles, and overall mass make him hard to miss

Other Body Types You Like
Another body type you like is probably the body in the drawing and photo below. Scientifically, this type is known as an "Ecto-Mesomorph," which is a fancy way of describing lean, muscular men. These guys ran track in high school and still may run marathons every year. Their narrow body frames and long legs support tight, sinewy muscles. He has a prominent chest and the V-shaped torso that some think is the "ideal" male frame. He even had a flat stomach and nice abs at some point, but like most of us has put on some extra pounds. The good news is that you seem to appreciate and even prefer guys with more realistic, natural bodies. He has long arms to wrap around you, and love handles to hold on to! These men make up around 20% of the single population. Keep your eyes out for signs like narrow necks, Adam's apples, angular or chiseled facial features, flat butts, and relatively long arms and legs. At about 5'10", they tend to run about 152 pounds.


You should see the pic of my "best-looking" man. LOL.

upbeat Make Out song?

Ahh but anything's possible ;-) even a full moon party with some clouds. Here's Rock Steady.

I looked at you, You stole my heart
You were all that I anticipated
I wanted you -- Every part but I knew that love would be complicated
I began to touch -- But you wouldnt let it
It never seemed to be the right time
I started to give up -- down to the limit
And then you changed your mind
And we begin to rock steady

on an Incomplete triathlon

end of sem. submission of grades. goddess bless me for i have sinned and will sin again :D be back

no wonder

No wonder I have no sex life :P I can't even come up with a makeout playlist!!!!! Am I a wham-bam ma'am? Is that what it means? No music necessary?? But I love music :-( Am I stuck on the heartbroken pathetic lovesongs? :-(

Hehehe, isn't it cute whining for no particularly important reason? I wonder who has influenced me on this? :-P :-D

But no?!?! Day Two of my Search for A Proper Makeout Playlist I meet some success ;-). SIGH OF RELIEF. Yesterday I put together some title possibilities and listened to them one by one... But I kept having to delete each one! They were either too strange or such lust-dampers for being too tragic! Hehe. I can understand tears during skes ;-) but not the whole entire time! :D Earthquakes, why not?

Anyway, my possibilities are all by UB40 -

The Way You Do The Things You Do
You got a smile so bright, You know you could have been a candle
I`m holding you so tight, You know you could have been a handle

Red Red Wine

Oooh, Baby I Love Your Way
Ooo, baby I love your way, everyday
I wanna tell you I love your way, everyday
I wanna be with you night and day

I Wanna Make You Sweat
Standin across the room, I saw you smile ...
Girl, I want to make you sweat
Sweat till you can't sweat no more
and if you cry out
I'm gonna push it some more

:-P Ooooh-la-la!

Admittedly, they all seem more appropriate for slow and sensual dancing at the beach at sunset with some red wine, but who's to say that all doesn't go with skes anyway? :-P

Hehehehe.

Thursday's planetary energies

Be more aware of your personal appearance and how you are being perceived. Make sure your dress and hair are appropriate for the people you are with and the situations you are in. Beauty and fashion are often important considerations, so don't be left looking like a slob. You may be egged on into a fancy store today where you are talked into buying some new outfits for your wardrobe.

COMMENT: HIHIHIHI what are the planets going on about? I cannot be possibly be more vain than I already am :D If so I would never make it to work before sunset!!!!

Tuesday's planetary energies

Background music: ting ti ni ning ti gi dish ting, it's an explosion my lab for you (hehehe)
There is a spark inside you that is about to ignite today. The buzzer is going off and calling on you to act. Pay close attention to your emotions and make sure that you are taking care of yourself physically, as well as emotionally and spiritually. Take hold of the plans you've made and infuse them with passion. Bring a breath of life to your dreams and act with confidence. The inner and outer aspects of your being are working harmoniously today.
Grabehon!

water fairy and swan

those are my yin and yang charms. now you know what to give me for Christmas, my birthday or even Earth Day :D

Chinelas

i lab my chinelas and they lab me too :-P
(buti pa ang smagol, mahal ako hahaha)

Gone Swimming!

Nice Things in Life

1. the smell of sun-dried laundry :D

Pet Peeves

hahaha. i have been away for far too long :-P i feel list and blog-deprived.

1. having someone sweep the floor while i'm eating!!!!!! ggggrrrrr!!!!!! i absolutely hate this!!!!!!
2. strapless bras

Internet Stuff (in search of distractions)

1. check all horoscope subscriptions :-P ... pick the best of the best
2. write in blog and read all gfs' blogs
3. surf thru 10 most recently updated blogs at blogger website (hehe my current favorite while writing tedious papers)
4. see friends of friends of friends at friendster
5. clean out email inbox

Guessing Game

At which particular moment in Love, Actually did Aida and Eulala cry simultaneously, as if on cue, pass those tissues please? :-) A ka-relate-relate moment.

It's Summer

and here are the clothes I must wear because it's the perfect time to wear them :-P and no other time is just as good:

1. six mini mini skirts (denim, denim, khaki cords, silky khaki, silky plaid, pleated black)
2. short summer dresses (blue, green, black, white)
3. trousers (khaki, white, white)
4. flats (black thong, white thong, tan, black)
5. tank tops and tee shirts
6. four bikinis (black, aqua, pumpkin-orange, fuschia)

The Way We Like Our Bras (between us girls)

Cancer likes it strong and sturdy; maximum support ;-)
Libra likes it in black, with patches! (young mama's preference)
Capricorn likes it smooth and seamless, no underwires please; hate those strange bumps and creases :-( ... (and i particularly hate strapless bras! they are the bane of my life full of tanks, spaghetti straps and tubes)
Aquarius likes it in all the colors :-)

Stewing

PAKSHIT :-)... Joanna, here's another one of my Research Teach anecdotes from last sem... She said that very few people have the discipline and the stamina to sit with themselves, stew over their ideas, and take the time to write it all out... Ahh, I sit and stew in sporadic spurts but lack the stamina to sit thru most of my stews. Just to tell you why I end up in my usual can of soup(s). :-P ... But I have to say that during the times when I have successfully arranged my stewing, I do enjoy stewing! Just that I can't sustain it to last for the length of time that's totally needed!!!! That's my perpetual challenge in this lifetime!!!

(Does that mean I'm fickle! Hahahaha)

Anyway, back to our discussion about Cancerian natures. I guess the reason why Cancer people are also able to easily sympathize, and understand other people's problems and angsts, is precisely because (as you said) they so often crave understanding :-D.

While "ruminating" over this insight (because I do find that it is my Cancer friends who can easily understand and sympathize with my emotes), I also thought about what you said that someone who loves a Cancer person must know how to show sympathy. ... And I thought hmmm, show sympathy... I think Capricorns or is it just me (??? hahaha) hate to be forced to be sympathetic when they're not ready or rather, on command :-P Hahahaha. Or maybe, in general, Capricorns just don't like being commanded :D

Anyway, I don't think that's an issue between you and me :D. Generally we understand each other and are sympathetic both in the worst and best of times, some times being better than others :).

Also, about being a Nazi. (And being a Nazi mother). Like I said, you're complex. You're both a Nazi and a sweetie :D plus 13 other facets. So while having a Nazi friend may have an upside and a downside to it, I know that if I get so bothered by it or by you, you're one of those precious people in the world who will listen and take heed if I tell you you've offended me or something already! So there you are, that's not really so Nazi is it? I mean a Nazi with negotiable limits and a big heart, is that a real Nazi?!? Haaaay fake! Hehehehehe.

steps

themundaneandthedivine (4:19:15 PM): the other day sister
sibi_don (4:19:19 PM): yes
themundaneandthedivine (4:19:20 PM): i was going down an elevator
themundaneandthedivine (4:19:28 PM): i mean an escalator
themundaneandthedivine (4:19:31 PM): and i remembered you
themundaneandthedivine (4:19:33 PM): :-))
sibi_don (4:19:48 PM): heheheheh bless
sibi_don (4:21:10 PM): i always think of you when i do that
sibi_don (4:21:18 PM): in fact i've become more cautious!!!
themundaneandthedivine (4:21:55 PM): :-))

wala lang. duni laughed everytime we got on an escalator coz i was always extra careful to step properly on the step :-P told her i was traumatized from falling down the stairs last year huhuhuhu.

true love waits

oh indeed? :-P does true love wait....
conversation with aquarius gf while washing dishes away from the gaze of grandma boss :-) ...

Capricorn loon: so, did you want to ask me about PMS? I think it's best to wait ...
Aquarius crystall ball: do it for love ... if there's no friendship...
Capricorn loon: hmmm, if there's no friendship, do it if there's admiration for you.... But what if there's no admiration either? ... if there's no love? no friendship? and no admiration.... do it for pleasure...
Aquarius crystal ball: do it for your pleasure!

And thus twas agreed by the Air and The Earth. Do it for your pleasure :-P

(Hehehehe. No we weren't serious at all. But yes, we were serious :-P We weren't having a serious conversation though we weren't smiling but we were serious about our views :-P ... And in this day and age, all of it is pms!!!! hihihihihi)

Ahhh, life.

1. It is a hot summer day...
2. you are sitting under a kubo enjoying the breeze,
3. peeling a luscious ripe mango with your hands and biting into it, savoring the explosion of sweetness in your mouth... juice runs down your arms...
4. taking care not to drip on yourself or your clothes, you reach for your tall glass of coke filled with ice cubes and gulp in the refreshing drink so cold, it makes your tonsils constrict.
5. Later, you peel off your sarong and run to the cold sea (now this part is wishful thinking hahahaha) that wash away the mango juice and the heat of the sun and the white sand that clings to your feet.

:D

Email list

Following is a list that has been circulating on the email for the last 56 years :-P. It is old but worth emulating. Two gfs and I had this resolution all of 34 years ago to each make a list of the things we love? Or good things in life? Or something like that to my precise and accurate recollection :P. So following is a list to set off many other personal lists from you people (please add, copy, create your own lists for our living pleasure :-). Last forwarded to me by a gf in Australia. Current comments in itals.

Things that feel good.
1. Falling in love. (cannot relate hahaha)
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts. (or you develop stomach muscles or you cry and pee hihihihi)
3. A hot shower. (Mmmmmmm)
4. No lines at the supermarket (no lines at BPI when you're trying to encash an office check and have one million and 3 other things to do!!!)
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake. (or vanilla or strawberry!)
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15. The beach
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
19. Running through sprinklers. (i want :-( )
20. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
21. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
22. Laughing at an inside joke.
23. Friends.
24. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
25. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
26. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner). (YUMMY :D)
27. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
28. Playing with a new puppy.
29. Having someone play with your hair.
30. Sweet dreams.
31. Hot chocolate.
32. Road trips with friends.
33. Swinging on swings.
34. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
35. Making chocolate chip cookies.
36. Having your friends send you home-made cookies.
37. Holding hands with someone you care about.
38. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
39. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
40. Watching the sunrise.
41. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
42. Knowing that somebody misses you. (isn't this sadistic? hehehehe)
43. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
44. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

Surprise!

Unfortunately no Sister Hazel or Kevyn Lettau or even a decent ABBA song (!!!!!) hahahaha on the www.powerwebmusic.com archives yet :D

Things not to bring to the beach

1. matching shoes and bags (hahahahaha)
2. pumps
3. laptop (coz i still don't have one hahahaha)
4. boyfriend (might destroy the whole gf vibe)
5. bad mood (scary!!!!)
6. house-sitter, oh no need another house sitter!!!!!!
7. meteor garden dvds!!!
8. sukang iloko

Things to bring to the beach (HUGE smile right here)

OBJECT / EXPLANATION
1. peanut butter :-P (peanut butter on tinapay is always so tasty after a long salty swim. with some accidental sand, perfect!)
2. hoodie (for strange arctic temperature buses)
3. magazine
4. Bitch in the House
5. travel blog
6. bottle of wine, corkscrew
7. kitkat
8. travel scrabble :P
9. hehehehe

Lost in Translation

Everyone wants to be found.

i can relate with this movie :-). I like its silences, I like the way many things are unsaid. Sometimes there are too many words in the world. Or there's too much of a premium placed on people who can say the most words with the loudest voice. Like they have more rights to live or to be happy :-). There's hardly any value given to peace and quiet. You know it's the quiet ones you have to watch out for ;-) (whatever that means). There's just too many things that can't be explained or articulated. :-) Or rather there are many things that don't need to be or shouldn't even be articulated or explained. Still, these things are beautiful and real :-) (aside: don't you think even sadness is beautiful?)

(yet another aside: one of the best greeting cards i've ever come across is about sitting quietly on a swing with someone without having to say a word)

i like Bill Murray's face. I think he deserved the best actor nominations/ awards that he got by virtue of his face alone :-) (but I can't explain it nor do I want to nor should I even try to... watch the face yourself :-) ). I started out thinking I wasn't going to like his character -- just another dissipated man, soul-less in having pursued pleasure for so long. But he turned out to be so likeable :-) so endearing in his helplessness at the absurd situation he found himself in.

absurd situations :-) i can relate with always seeing the absurd in everything every day. and it's not even looking down your nose at things. it's just funny kind of funny that. and how nice funny funny is when someone else can see just how funny funny can be. :-)

i can also relate to the feeling of disconnection. i always used to feel like that after out of town work trips when i was younger. i used to feel so sad coming back from trips and it seemed like it didn't matter to anyone. i think that was one of the reasons i got addicted to calling up my ex (whose real name was trouble). i probably often fooled myself into thinking there was a connection to be made there (ahh but this is herstory, water under the bridge gone into the ocean). thinking about the movie after the movie, i thought to myself how it's been so long since i felt like that. there's so much love in my life right now and a lot of connections (thank you cellphones and the internet :-P) and i thank everyone who is part of the precious cycle of giving and receiving love (precious girlfriends, family, colleagues :-D, myself).

i can also relate to feeling home is when youre with a friend at a strange place (Capricorns will cling to the familiar). Also i can relate to how things can be intimate without being physical :) (in fact sometimes physicality can be the most impersonal and alienating thing in the world).

and i can relate to the thought of just how scary it must be to bring kids into the world and be entirely responsible (i mean who am i to deign to bring someone up, to teach him or her my view of the world and of life when i can never assure them that this is a way of doing things that works?).

and lastly i can relate to the goodbye scene. i think in my life i've had many goodbye scenes and many's the time when it was my gfs who saved me (there was the thought of meeting them and their love after goodbye that sustained me). i can certainly relate to not crying now, definitely later. i can relate to that hug :) i think at the end of that movie, i craved for that hug for them. i am glad for that hug, i think i have probably wished for such a hug many times.

i thought the girl was beautiful :)

i can relate to quiet but intense without anyone really knowing or needing to know. :-)

Iced Tea Love

I can't wait to go home and take a nap :-) and hang out in my bedroom. I need some iced tea looooovin' (hmmm, create your own definition, I just think it sounds so sweet and so perfect for summer, like lying on a hammock on a cool porch on a still sunshiny day). This is because I am not feeling so hot (cough) and I feel that long naps would work wonders! And also because after all this time, I still haven't learned the lesson of never sleeping right after crying (no I don't have a problem I promise, just cleaning out my tear ducts) because you wake up with eye luggage and fragile feelings.

I really also want to blog but I won't as I still have many things to do before going home. But up and coming are:

1. Why I like Lost in Translation :-)
2. My response to honeybun's blogs... rekindling desire in NYC... (awright!) ...and i totally dig that love in LOTR post.

Happy weekend my loves. It's the International Women's Day on Monday.

Capricorn postcript

Oh, my comments :-D. I haven't written any. I just quickly scanned thru the sister's problem and Joe's reply. Off the top of my head I thought then that the sister didn't have to limit herself to those two men. Alone seemed better :) or at least, some time alone. (As it also seems dangerous to say do away with the two men altogether, as they might really be important to her at this point hehehe, although I really am tempted to say that :-D).

As for Joe, although I agree that honesty in relationships is important (but more important is first off, being honest with yourself), I do think too that it was dangerous to say that it was just a matter of discerning among the two who was the one for her. Maybe problems like this signal -- don't rush, step back a minute and detach yourself from this mess. What is this complex situation telling you about yourself and what you need to learn :-)... But I don't think Joe is evil :-D. He just needs some goddess friends himself, that's what! Hehehehe.

Cancer Comments! (karate chop chop)

The gist is in the comments box but it's much funnier in it's full unedited glory, complete with Joe-d-Man is pakshit conclusion (hahahaha). Cancer gf, can I post your blog address?

Anyway, as we were all saying... maybe it's time for a common blog for an endless continuing conversation :D ...that we can submit to Dark Lord as our common resume for her counseling center... hehehe

Also, I really want to send Joe d Man our comments on his advice column. Hahahaha, I wonder what he will say. I'll do it soon, just after Women's Day.

Libra writing from NYC!

Still in the spirit of respect and empathy and knowing full well that we will never know completely what's it like to be in another person's shoes -- this is so true, honeybun.

So all I can say is that I might only ask her what she wants and let her take charge (as DarkLord would always say), what ever choices she may make, I'll be there for her in sisterhood, to celebrate with her if she finds she made a good decision, to lend a shoulder to cry on if she feels she should have done better and to drink with her for whatever reason she may have in mind. :)

A sister, on the other hand, may have to really put her finger into Mavie's cake (we can't help it, can we?) That's love, baby. he he he. So, I'd probably tell her, it was an idiotic thing to do...writing to JoeDMango. ha ah ha ha. And that she need not choose between the two. In fact, she should include herself in the choices. But you know naman, honeybun, sometimes kailangan masaktan para matuto.

Life and growing up are best enjoyed through experience, anyway. ;p

let's hear it from Aquarius!

1)mark and bryan remind me of 2 guys in my life! haha! are they saggi and cancer too?:-D

2)u already know what i did in that almost too similar situation. there was a time (1month?) when i wanted both (or more?)&didn't feel so guilty, but also came the time when i just wanted to be w/ 'one' (i gave in to the system!:-D) so i let go of the other.

3)im all for honesty in relationships, mr. joe d mangoshake, (though i was just honest w/ me & not to the 'dumped' guy) but it seems to me, the point is not that mavie has to choose, (she deserves somebody/somepeople better than any of the two). she has first to decide/realize what happiness and peace (and other big life words) mean to her & how she wants to be treated by the people in her life & how she wants to love them back.

4) It scares me when mr. joe says 'there is one person meant for you'... for it does not only pressure one to find that perfect partner,but also belittles all the other relationships one can form and have formed (and will form!).

5)there's no need to get torn when we are allowed to value (many) people for who they are,for who we are when we're with them, how they make us feel, for the little and big ways, (for the short time and/or lifetime) that they touch our lives...

6) so mavie, deadma na muna sa dalawa, you’re only 26, there’s so much to know about yourself. Hang out ka muna with us at join sa pag problematize ng exclusivity and free love and romance and celibacy and get to know and love people according to their sun signs :-D

A question for you women

Torn between two? Loving and loved by many? Is the glass half-full or half-empty? LOL. More theoretical adventures on one of Joanna's current fave topics (free love), from the Capricorn occasionally sitting on the lap of the green-eyed monster... Yes, gfs what say you about this sister's problem here --->
http://www.inq7.net/mag/2004/feb/29/text/mag_5-1-p.htm
(copy-paste to your browser)

Do we agree with the advice columnist?... A GUY?!?! :-D. ... Or maybe I can pose the question as, if you were the sister, what would you do? :-)

Still in the spirit of respect and empathy and knowing full well that we will never know completely what's it like to be in another person's shoes :-) (i keep busy trying to keep up with how it is to be in all my shoesssss :-P), I await your thoughts (yo you sluts, bitch and introvert you),

EULALA :-P :-D :-P

because explaining is a thing of beauty and a joy forever

hahahaha!

here's my official explanation to my aquarius gf as to why i keep listening to that sappy love-forsaken mushy and pathetic (super lait!) song Because of You (with versions popularized by Keith Martin, Kyla and Paolo Santos but individually and not altogether)

it's because i like that one line: If ever you wonder if you touch my soul, yes you do ;-)
and also that line (but i like it to a lesser degree) thank you for the love and the joy you bring ... in straight and to the point recognition of the joy that sometimes people bring to you even if they don't really mean to do it anyway (hahaha!). but not to say they're the only joy there is! oh puh-leeeze (hahaha as if i don't also contradict myself on this).

:-D it's 330 time to sit at table!

Pumps

it's all my fault for spending Sunday in pajamas, leafing leisurely thru a magazine and glancing at the ever-present tv. the magazine was full of pointy pumps in all colors and in all kinds of heels :-P

what cruel god made so many kinds of shoes for me to wear? i can't get pumps out of my mind noooow. i want them. i lust for pumps (lol, having passed thru my lust for slides, boots, strappies and thongs before this).

i am a very real example of how those damn glossies work!

Mooning over Milan

(in the top ten list of leigh cheri's things to do the minute she gets back in Manila. my apologies for this advance review but i can't help it :-D... pa-victim)

1. i love claudine barretto's character. she starts out as some kind of tight-ass bitch but soon reveals just how much she mothers everyone anyway :-D

i definitely like how they have captured the pinay's classic definition of loving (a product of socialization, Catholicism and probably all the laundry soap ads from when television first arrived in the Philippines) thru her character: i love you and will do everything in my powers (i kid you not) to make you happy. ... Needless to say at the end of it, it's ooops i forgot to love myself (wail).

2. i love the clothes of the claudine character :-D. Really, gorgeous (hehehe a product of socialization in the capitalist patriarchal universe -- consumerism and the illusion of identity thru fasion!)

3. i love that no one character in the entire movie is perfect. everyone has some growing up to do. (althought that way it was some kind of long movie what with waiting for everyone to grow up! hehe).

4. i love how they brought out and portrayed one of those Pinoy open secrets -- the extra relationships in strange lands, the illicit love that actually ensures OFW's very survival. What to do? All of this love is real.

5. And it was the first time i learned about climbing mountains with one's luggage, avoiding dogs and the police to sneak into Italy. Oh totally pakshit reality.

yes sweetie

yes joanna that's actually my emote of the months. i agree with you completely that life is short and fleeting :D ... and so i think love is great when it's there and must be danced with, sung to, dunked in water, and eaten for supper... hahahaha... but only if there's really love, one must not mistake it ;-) ... basta ah, life is short and love is freeeeee :-D ... if it's the one that you want anyway :-)

but i don't know about those life-long, 5 year and 6 months lists. they have the potential to send me into a panic wondering what do i really want and do i really want what i think i want :-D isn't it true that sometimes we just stumble upon the things that we really do want after all... or need to learn :-P ... and i'd like to leave some room for surprises :-D

but on the point that if you knew you'll die tomorrow, your priorities will become quite clear, there is no doubt :-D ...it might mean me getting very fat since it will become quite clear what i want to eat from that second forward hehe. just offhand, it could also mean getting highlights and swimming everyday (therefore ruining highlights) and writing everyone love letters and just hanging out, hanging about, hanging.... from a tree, skipping thru the clouds hahaha.

basta ah :D... am still currently intent on my wish and will to imbibe the good parts of gemini. must evolve, time is short :-)

my friend kevyn

whom i became friends with only AFTER she had a concert in Manila (how stupid of me :-D), croons on this freeeee thursday, "hold me till morning, soothe me in silence, promise the music won't fade, let me adore you, give you new reason to play, a serenade, heal me with your laughter, let the celebration never find an end, my heart is with you, forever lover and friend.

:-D COOL.

Now back to my transcription and translation of child laborers in Negros. Waaaaaah, heartbreaking real life.

You know when...

You know when you're in the middle of composing a text message for someone, and then you receive a message (beep), do you?
a. finish your message, send it and then read your newly arrived message?
b. exit compose message quickly and then read your message?

:-P :-D :-P :-D mind-curdling

Resistance is futile :-D

Today's favorite text greetings
the dark lord: It is a day for all our loves and not just our lovers. Happy Valentine's Day.
the amazing gemini: Some day we will able to love on our own terms :-) :-) Happy valentine's day!

Poems read at the dreaded poets society's Feb 13 open mic:


Cake

i wanted one life
you wanted another
we couldn't have our cake
so we ate eachother.

-roger mcgough


two cures for love

1. Don't see him. Don't phone or write a letter.
2. The easy way: get to know him better.

-Wendy Cope


The minute I heard my first love story

The minute I heard my first love story
I started looking for you not knowing
how blind that was.

Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.
They're in each other all along.

Rumi, translated by Coleman Barks with John Moyne

All from A Survival Kit for Modern Life, 101 Poems edited by Daisy Goodwin

In the grip of being a girl

Right. This is the cycle. I think of something that tickles my taste buds. I go and eat it. I feel full and sleepy. Then I think of new things to eat. It IS a vicious cycle and a violent world. Sometimes I think I can scarf down horse and barn. Or to be more specific and polite - Mars Bar, vanilla sundae, Argentina corned beef, rice, sawsawan ;-). It's totally disgusting when you realize that am still full from lunch. But I want to eaaaaat. Aha, tuna sashimi.

Day three. Prior to. Period.

i ain't going to Davao.

Yahoo. Celebrate good times c'mon. There's a party going on right here, a celebration to last throughout the year. Alas for the orange malong I was going to get there.

Care Bear says it's clear skies and cool weather in Negros. Happy fishing and cycling to you :-)

long-term happiness or short-term bliss?

got concepts from honeybun. i like the debate except in its incarnation as the chocolate (short term bliss at the expense of longterm happiness) and exercise (long term happiness at the expense of short term bliss) questions.

i am truly A PIG. A Capricorn PIG. hahahahaha. that's just too much of the good things in life :-D. But according to a friend's book, if she were a Rooster, she would look for a Pig ;-). HA.

thisismyblogandicansaywhatiwantto

"La, meet my TNL*!"
(*ehem...tunay na ligaya... hahahahaha cute di ba?).
and then you show Lola her picture...o di ba? Mas winner-winner! Hehehehehe. Kala mo ha hahahahaha.

"La, this is my adopted kid, Sinta and these are her pair of pet tilapia Aliw and Giliw."
Hahahaha, poor Giliw has become a fish. Nice when grilled. Hehehehehe.

Wala lang ah. :-D

SiQC :-P

Ok, am curious. Do my sister sluts (yes, we are reclaiming and redefining that term here from a feminist perspective :-D just to be clear) or y'all my sisters -- slut or not, or slut in the past, or slut wanna-be - really want:

1) just sex?? what does just sex mean? :-) feel free to elaborate as long as you wish
2) or happy sex with people who like you? ...hmmm.... if so, does that mean you want to have sex with friends? that you would prefer that your lovers are your good friends? :-)
3) if so again, does that actually mean that you would want to have various multi-colored relationships wherein you have sex within some of these relationships? meaning relationships that don't fall into the formulaic middle of the road committed coupledom? and not just one at a time? but possibly more than one such relationship at the same time?
3) and if so, does this actually mean that you want sex and friendship or maybe it's actually friendship with sex. so in that case, sex might not be the more accurate or the right takeoff point. but maybe friendship should be the takeoff point and sex the bonus?
4) or maybe, you really just want sex, and following your lust?!?

hmmm i dunno but i'd love to know what you're thinking. this is because am not convinced some of you really just want sex (hahahaha) even as I do agree that you would love lots of sex (don't we all :-P) ... but maybe that you're trying to launch the desire for sex and friendship from the sex airport alone... i don't know anything at all. do tell me :-D. i think this will be fun!

so here's the deal, if you wanna talk, i can transfer this discussion to another blog (where you need not be bothered by viola sighing and chuckling over her inner life that only she half-understands). but for a start, you can comment (anonymously if you want) and if the ball starts rolling very fast, we'll move and move quickly!

everyone is welcome to state their feelings/ theories/ experiences/ whateva. we could also do this over real live coffee but think of our poor sisters stuck abroad, away from the wonders of C3 (hahaha) and Muscovado Grill.

loveya, :-D

More on this happy theme

Just the other day, Mr. Care Bear* texted me to say it was such a wonderful day, he was looking for reasons to lie down somewhere and stare into the blue sky ... This afternoon Frida Kahlo* messaged to say it was a beautiful pink-and-blue-hued sunset, and this morning the one and only sizzling Scorpio* in my life typed up this whole Capricorn profile to send to me :-)

Isn't it just wonderful? :-P

*not their real names

Haaaay, haaapy.

Hahahaha :-)

As Charlotte Kasl did say in that orgasmic book If the Buddha Dated (maybe i can't stand multiples as i still haven't finished the book and it's almost been a year later :-D ), non-attachment to outcome helps :-).

Wala lang. Happy lang. Parang gift of thine self. I am glad to have known you, is what it amounts to ;-).

Thank you :-).

Stage 4 Mental Illness

I've just about put the lid on my insanity :-P. Now am sitting on top of the can, doing yoga, reciting mantras, ohming to the high heavens, and hoping it all doesn't explode under me. And that the ghosts I've captured will settle down, watch tv, stop talking at the same time inside my head, and let me get on with my life. :-D

Love Letter 2

Dear Tita Sandra (huh?!)...Tita Gwyneth?! (no!)...Tita ...

Oh, how I cried. Up on the 21st floor of the New World Hotel with a great view of San Lorenzo Vill home to a hundred or so multi-billionaires in the poverty-laden country that is the Philippines, snug in bed, peeking at my phone email, I cried for the sweet friendship that we had and still have and with continuing technological advances, will probably always have (hehe), I cried for the rite of passage that you have had, I cried because we have missed each other, I cried because we should have been there (hehe and think what a great pair of shoes I could have worn to the occasion), I cried because it's really ok too that we weren't because if you're happy, we're happy (and I have far too many pairs of shoes than there are special occasions in a year), and I cried because after all, I am still going to get to roll around in the fine white sands of Boracay (you neglected to confirm your treat :-P LOL). And also, I cried because I could never hope to match your letter in Filipino.

I love you and am happy for you.

P.S. Sometimes I wonder if I should be glad my birthday is on January 8 or not. More momentous events seem to happen to other people on this day than to me :-P

Kermit's Year

May it be an enriching enchanting enjoyable 2004. May it be easy being green (Kermit turned new-agey Buddhist). May I find myself (hahahaha) and like myself more (mwehehehe). May we be ever grateful of our blessings, kinder, more tender of people's fragilities, sturdier for the lessons that will surely come our way. May our sea-legs never founder. May we be open to new experiences and new people that present themselves to us. May we be more in tune and groovin' to the wide and kind and loving Universal Divine.

IT'S A LEAP YEAR ;-). YOU GO, WOMEN OF THE WORLD! (hehehehehe).